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More proof I’m a 60-year-old woman in a 26-year-old body

by Erika Torres
4 comments

I stumbled across this post the other day and thought to myself, “Holy crap! Since when could you get a picture of your baby inside your stomach that was so clear?!” I mean, you can practically see the baby’s dimples!

I remember when all you got was that black and white photograph that looked like an old television set with static and you had to pretend to “ooo” and “awww” as the mom would go “and see…this stick here that looks like a worm coming out of an apple is actually the baby’s arm!” And even though it still looked just like black and white static on a television monitor, you smiled anyway and said “how cute!”

But now you get these fancy schmancy devices so that show you your baby’s face inside your tummy! How freakin’ cool is that?!

But what happens if your baby is ugly? At least, back in the day, you were all excited that the baby finally arrived that you could let go of the fact that your baby was ugly.

But now you get to see your baby’s face ahead of time. And the baby is still in your tummy. And the baby is…ugly? You’re kind of screwed on that one I guess. I hope I don’t have ugly babies. I am way too superficial to have ugly babies.

Between you and me…one of my biggest fears is being a fat pregnant lady. There are some women who just get pregnant fat, and then there are other women who just get allover pregnant fat.

I want to be pregnant fat. Yesterday, I saw a woman from the back who was super skinny and she turned around and “holy crap, woman, get yourself to a hospital, you’re gonna pop! ” (I didn’t actually say that…but I thought it…) I also thought “I want to be pregnant and look like her.”

I don’t want my arms to get fat. I’m scared of having fat pregnant arms. And ugly babies.

Good thing I don’t plan on getting pregnant for a very…long….time…

4 comments

Red October 13, 2010 - 10:02 pm

Ha! I just found your blog about an hour ago and have been reading through your archives instead of doing my homework. I wasn’t going to comment until I got caught up, but this post is hilarious!

I totally agree about pregnant fat. My husband and I actually don’t plan to have kids, but I once saw a pregnant woman come out of the mall who was so cute, with just this big belly and a sweater and jeans on. I just wanted to pinch her! If only we all could look like that while pregnant!

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Mrs T September 27, 2010 - 8:26 pm

Found you via a comment on That wife.

This post cracked me up – I am totally with you on the pregnant fat/ugly baby thing. Too funny.

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prettylittlereckless September 23, 2010 - 1:51 pm

I’m totally old fashioned and when that day comes I have kids, I don’t want to know the sex of the kid or have that fancy sonogram pic. I want to be surprised. I want to have names picked out for a boy or a girl. I want to have that black and white pic for their baby book. I want the surprise of seeing how adorable they are. I want the anticipation of seeing their face. My husband just better want the same thing because he isn’t going to get to know the sex or any fancy smancy technology crap. And because I’m the one knocked up- he will obey my wishes 😉

oh- and totally agreed with the preg fatness stuff 🙂

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CarrieV September 23, 2010 - 1:50 pm

LOVE.

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