Judging people has become a social taboo.
It’s supposed to be bad to judge other people, and we often hear the catchphrase “Don’t Judge.”
But I judge people all the time. And I’m sure you do too–even though we have to lie about it, because if we tell people we judge people, they’ll start to wonder if we’re judging them, and then we probably won’t have very many friends left anymore.
So I think that’s why we lie about judging others.
But I do judge people. I judge people who wear high-waters…like this guy.
I judge people who kill other people. I judge people who are bad tippers. I judge vegans. I judge people who lie about judging other people.
Hello, my name is Erika and I am a judger. Sue me.
As politically incorrect as it is to admit that we judge people, the fact is we do it all the time. That’s how we decide who we choose to marry, who we choose to be friends with–I mean, I don’t know, I wouldn’t choose to be friends with a meth addict who sells her body to support her habit, would you? Isn’t that me passing judgement on her?
So now that we’ve answered the question that yes, we are all judgers and sinners, I wanted to ask: Why do we judge?
And the only reasonable answers I could come up with are: fear and jealousy.
We judge others out of fear that their choices are better than our choices. Take child rearing for example. How people parent their children is one of the biggest controversies and one of the easiest way to judge others. There are so many experts out there telling you the correct way to raise your child, and if you aren’t doing it their way, you’re doing it wrong.
When one parent rears their child differently than you, there is automatic judgement. They’re doing it wrong. They’re hurting their child. That choice will come back to haunt them. And we do this out of fear–fear that what we’re doing is wrong. As if there can only be a right and wrong way to do something, because obviously if you are doing something a certain way, it’s because you think that’s the right way. Maybe we judge others because we fear that if they’re doing something a certain way, then what we are doing is wrong.
I don’t know why I got all philosophical all of a sudden–I think it was spurred by a scene in Silver Linings Playbook (which I really liked, btw). But it made me think of why I judge others and their choices.
I know that sometimes I have judged others on their financial situation–without even knowing all the details– because I want to feel better about our own financial situation. I judge based on fear and jealousy. Are we doing it right? Are we doing it wrong? How come we can’t afford to do that? They can only afford to do that because their parents are helping them; I would never take money from my parents as an adult (which is a total lie, I would totally take
advantage money from my parents. Heck, my grandma still slips me a $20 every now and then).
Why do you think we judge others? And what have you judged others for?