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My Jessica Simpson Moment(s)

by Erika Torres
25 comments

jessicaBack when Newlyweds was popular, I was a huge fan.

Okay, I own the whole series on DVD. Burn me at the stake, I don’t care. I also listen to Top 40 music and subscribe to US Weekly, and I may even check TMZ once a week day. So, sue me.

The point is, I never understood all those people who were making fun of her for the whole chicken-tuna fiasco because I knew that if I had cameras following me around, they would have a field day with the stupid stuff that comes out of my mouth on a daily pretty regular basis.

Well, okay maybe tuna-chicken was pushing it in the “airhead” department. Β But perhaps she was deprived as a child and her mother never made her a tuna sandwich, who knows, right?

All I know is that if you put a blank map of the United States in front of my face and made me name where all the states were located, I’d be able to place California, New York, Texas and Florida…maybe a few others, and everything in between would be called “The Middle.” #JustSayin.

I wanted to share with you a few of my personal “Jessica Simpson” moments so that we can all reminisce that sometimes…we can all be a little dumb.

Β Jessica Simpson Moment #1:

A while ago, my “check engine” light came on, and my screen said I needed an oil change and that my oil was at 15%. I told Eric about it, because now that I was married, I expected my husband to take care of all that car stuff. (I took his dry cleaning to the cleaners, he can change the oil, right? Fair trade.)

So anyway, I watched the oil numbers go from 15%, to 10%, to 5%. And Eric still hadn’t gotten the oil changed. We were driving back from somewhere and I told Eric he HAD to get the oil changed today. He got mad because he had a million other things to do. And I yelled back that I had been telling him for weeks about the oil and now there was only 5% left!

I mean, this was a pretty heated argument about the need for an oil change.

He finally yelled back that it wasn’t like the oil disappeared and I wouldn’t be able to drive the car–the oil just wouldn’t be as clean anymore.

I remained completely silent. And I finally asked him “So there’s still oil in it? It’s not going to run out? I’m not going to be stranded on the side of the road because I don’t have oil?”

All this time, for the past 14 years that I’ve been driving a car, I thought that 15% that would show up on my screen meant that I only had 15% of oil left in the car. I thought oil ran out, just like gasoline did.

Who knew, right?

Jessica Simpson Moment #2:

We were hosting a going away BBQ for my brother at our house and my dad told me to make sure I got gas for the BBQ. SO I went to Costco and bought this:

gasl-tank

The day of the BBQ, my dad comes over to start heating up the grill. He reaches to turn on the gas grill, holds it up, and yells at me “Erika, it’s empty!!”

I got so mad! I had JUST bought it at Costco–how dare they sell me an empty gas tank?!

My dad looks at me. “You didn’t fill it up?” he asks.

Fill it up? Why would I have to fill it up? I just bought it! It’s brand new! I couldn’t understand why he wasn’t getting what I was telling him. It’s a brand new gas tank!Β 

So, in case any one else in the world is unaware of this–you have to actually get these things filled up with gas at a gas-fillup station place. All I actually bought was the container.

So there we were, an hour before guests were set to arrive, and we had to get the tank filled. My bad.

What was a recent Jessica Simpson moment you’ve had?

25 comments

Megan November 15, 2013 - 10:14 am

hahaha Those are hilarious. I know I have had many, but I cannot think of them at the moment. I’m sure I would have done the propane tank thing too.

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save. spend. splurge. November 11, 2013 - 7:15 am

I can’t think of any of my JS moments now.. .but I did like the Newlyweds episodes when it was on air. She seemed so real.. πŸ™‚

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Catherine November 7, 2013 - 6:35 pm

I have a few. But the one that comes tome right now. I was about 18 and my sister and I were trying to watch TV one friday night but the TV wouldn’t work. We tried everything. NOTHING was working. The damn cable was broken. We called the cable company and they send a guy out the next day. I waited around until 1pm for the guy to show up. He proceeds to climb on the roof to make sure all the connections to the house were fine, climbs the telephone pole to check wires at the junction box, all fine. Comes into our house to look at the TV….and turns off the DVD player. My sister had left the DVD player on and therefor the tv input was off…..yeah. He looks at both of us like we’re morons and walks out of the house.

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Lisa E. @ Lisa Vs. The Loans November 5, 2013 - 9:16 am

This is hilarious! I’m sure I have my fair share of “Jessica Simpson” moments, too. There are too many to think of!

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Sanibel November 4, 2013 - 10:59 am

I live in the middle, just to clarify:) You crack me up.

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Fehmeen @Loans&Lifestyle November 2, 2013 - 12:57 pm

These stories were funny, not because you did silly things but because I didn’t know there was an oil change notification that one had to look at, or that brand new tanks need to be filled with gas. I’d be furious at the retail outlet too πŸ™‚

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Tori November 1, 2013 - 2:21 pm

First of all, I still own Newlyweds too. And proudly. I still want Nick & Jessica to get back together and I still covet her LV collection.

And secondly, I never knew either of those things and I consider myself a fairly smart girl about “dude” stuff.

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Betsy October 31, 2013 - 9:42 am

FANTASTIC. Thank you for brightening my day!

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Summer October 31, 2013 - 8:57 am

Umm, I would be guilty of those things too! Yesterday, my husband was watching some football thing on tv, and they said something about a guy being a pro bowler. I started asking him why they were talking about a bowler on a football show. Apparently, that is a football term for an athlete that is the best at the position for the year or somthing. I guess I can’t be smarter then him all the time. Haha!

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Michelle's Finance Journal October 31, 2013 - 7:24 am

I didn’t know about the second thing. I never had to do it and never thought about it.
With Jessica Simpson, I didn’t watch the show back then, but I liked both of them back then. They were sweet.

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Akirah October 30, 2013 - 7:23 pm

Girl! Don’t even fret. I didn’t know either of those things either.

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Mrs. Pop @ Planting Our Pennies October 30, 2013 - 6:42 pm

haha, that’s too funny – and that’s a super weird way for your car to display the oil change. I’ve never seen anything like that.

My moment of the day (seriously, sometimes they are everyday!) was when Mr PoP was showing me a picture from the internet and telling me it was from a “game camera”. And I’m like, “What game? I don’t understand what they’re playing…” It was for hunting and this city slicker would NEVER have thought of that…

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Rebeca October 30, 2013 - 4:41 pm

Loved this! This is so my husband and I every day!

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Anne @ Unique Gifter October 30, 2013 - 2:16 pm

The oil one would completely freak me out, because running out of oil can destroy your whole engine. That’s a weird way of displaying the info, in most vehicles, when the oil light comes on it means STOP DRIVING RIGHT NOW AND FIX ME!

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Budget and the Beach October 30, 2013 - 1:20 pm

I would have done the same thing with the gas tank because I buy propane tanks for my grill and they do come filled! Too funny about the oil though. I have no idea where in cars a gauge would be that gave you percentages. Must be the newer models? Is that a dumb question? πŸ™‚

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newlywedsonabudget October 30, 2013 - 1:48 pm

mine is where it shows my mileage. when the oil is low, i can’t see the milage anymore (unless i push a button) and it instead says 15% , and the little oil can light is on.

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CeCe @Pink Sunshine October 30, 2013 - 1:04 pm

I have so many Jessica Simpson moment’s too it’s not even funny! And yes. I totally watched that show. I thought the oil disappeared too! Good to know. Also, I know you have to fill a propane tank up but if I went and bought one I probably would assume it was already filled too.

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newlywedsonabudget October 30, 2013 - 1:47 pm

exactly! don’t know why they would sell an empty tank. the funny thing is, my dad just lifted it and could tell right away it was empty. i guess they’re a lot heavier when they’re full. even though it’s just gas, and gas is air right? hmmm

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Jenna October 30, 2013 - 12:17 pm

I loved newlyweds! That show is one of my favorite reality shows ever! Jessica Simpson cracks me up! I love her!

Don’t feel bad about the gas container, I would have done the same thing. The first time I had to drive around with a full propane tank in my car I asked the (many) people at the store if they were positive it would’t blow up on me on the way home. lol

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newlywedsonabudget October 30, 2013 - 1:46 pm

haha, love that story!

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Jolene October 30, 2013 - 11:46 am

LOL!! that is hilarious. Well, you CAN actually run out of oil. It is rare, but it could happen if you had an oil leak or something. just saying πŸ˜‰ you weren’t completely wrong there! I kinda liked that show too, kind of like the Kardashians are my guilty pleasure now!

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newlywedsonabudget October 30, 2013 - 1:46 pm

i hate to admit i still watch that show. it’s mostly background noise, because i’ll be on the ipad most of the time and it’s gotten really boring, but ehh, I can’t seem to quit.

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Erin @ My Alternate Life October 30, 2013 - 11:40 am

I’ve had my fair share of Jessica Simpson moments. I can’t think of a recent one, but I’m sure I’ve just blocked them for self preservation purposes :).

I wouldn’t have thought to fill up the tank either if it makes you feel any better…

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Stacy October 30, 2013 - 10:58 am

I totally own all the season of Newlyweds too! Plus, I may or may not have re-watched them even well after they were divorced. It just a really funny show.

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newlywedsonabudget October 30, 2013 - 11:08 am

awww good to know I’m not alone! I just thought they were really cute together. I was pretty bummed when they broke up, and I still don’t think Jessica has done better than Nick…what was she thinking with Tony Romo!

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