What It’s Really Like to Be Pregnant

by Erika Torres
11 comments

PregnancyA tongue-in-cheek look at what pregnancy has been like for me these past 28 weeks.

People Will Be A**holes

I think that 90% of people are good well-mannered people, but it is the other 10% that is comprised of ultimate douches that make you question your belief in humanity.

When you are visibly pregnant, people will suddenly feel like your looks are an acceptable topic of conversation. While it would never be okay to tell the person in front of you in the grocery line that they are huge and do they really need that box of ice cream bars, for some reason, if you’re pregnant, it is perfectly acceptable.

This past week, I had a co-worker (not even a stranger, mind you) tell me that I have gotten huge, that I am going to have a big baby, and wanted to know if my doctor was okay with my weight gain. It was the second time that week that someone had pointed out my weight.

I was so in shock, I had no idea how to respond. I meekly smiled and said “yes” and then ran to HR five minutes later and sobbed my eyes out.

It was the way she said it–“you look so uncomfortable! you have gotten SO big…you’re just so big now. You’re going to have a HUGE baby (*smiles really wide*), is your doctor okay with how much weight you’ve gained?” As if she–the woman who looks like Mrs. Roper from Three’s Company and has the hairstyle to match– should be commenting AT ALL about what I look like. I’m 7 months pregnant, bitch, what’s your excuse?

I am currently 28 weeks pregnant, I have 12 weeks left to go. My doctor has been perfectly okay with my weight gain, especially since it has been steady weight gain throughout my entire pregnancy.

 

I am 5’7 and have always been a curvy girl with boobs and a butt. I am never going to look like Giselle Bündchen pregnant. My boobs have exploded to the point where Eric calls me his African princess.

Despite all this– In what world is it okay to comment on someone’s weight to their face? Why is it okay when someone is pregnant? In fact, that is the worst time to say anything about a person’s weight. We are already super hormonal as it is, we feel like we have no control over our body, and trust me, we are much harsher judges on ourselves over our physical appearance than you could ever be. So for you to just point out our weight when we are already feeling extremely vulnerable– I have four words for you: F*ck you very much.

For the most part, everyone has been wonderful. I do get a lot of “you look amazing!” “you’re glowing!” “you look so great, mama!” comments that it really helps to overlook those mean bastards that try and cut you to your core with their insensitivity.

You Will Lose Control

Now that I’ve approached my third trimester, I really feel like I’m losing control of everything. And I do mean, everything.

Today, I peed my underwear for the first time. I just couldn’t make it to the bathroom fast enough. Oops.

I threw up twice this past week due to severe dizziness that lasted several days. Try going to work while you feel like you’re on the never-ending Tea Cup Ride at Disneyland.

I can no longer put on underwear or pants without looking like I’m trying to complete an Olympic obstacle course. Bending forward has proved impossible so I am still mastering a maneuver that involves frog legs, grunting, and squirming on the bed, which somehow still manages to leave you breathless enough that it sounds like you just ran a marathon.

For the most part, I have been emotionally stable, but when something (or someone — see above) upsets me, I know that I will lose control and start sobbing uncontrollably.

You Will Freak Out

As the 12-week countdown begins, I am starting to freak out with the realization that Eric and I will be parents in approximately three months.

I. Can’t. Do. This.

I have too many things that I still need to do that I feel like I don’t have enough time for. Life insurance, nursery, living trust, cleaning, preparing, sleeping in, going to all those restaurants we want to go to before the baby comes…

You Will Be Amazed

Despite everything–all the horror, the surprises, and the insensitive a**holes of the world–you will still be absolutely amazed at everything that is happening.

I never thought that I could feel so many emotions at once. I am super excited for the future, completely in awe of my body’s ability, and scared shitless all at the same time.

It’s like being a little kid and being told that Santa Claus is coming to your house tomorrow to take you to Disneyland but it’s going to take you nine months to get there and you have to carry a bowling ball on your bladder while riding a burro through the Sahara Dessert in the middle of an earthquake in order to get there.

So Many Conflicting Emotions!

My favorite moments have been the evenings when I’m laying still and the baby starts to kick and squirm and I’m like “what the heck is going on down there?!” And when Eric touches my belly, I love seeing the little kid excitement on his face.

Pregnancy has not been the easy hair-blowing-in-the-breeze journey I thought it was going to be. But I am very much looking forward to meeting our little guy or girl in November.

I’m also scared sh*tless, but more excited.

Or maybe more scared.

I can’t decide.

 

 

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11 comments

Jen November 21, 2017 - 6:57 pm

Loving the “freak out > to > amazement” part. Both are so true. Hope you guys are doing great in parenthood. It’s a wild ride!

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Sanibel September 1, 2015 - 12:11 pm

People really do just need to fuck off. You look freakin amazing friend! And the third trimester is nothing but a bitch. An up and down bitch in which putting on shoes and underwear IS an olympic sport and I would do assume spend the rest of pregnancy naked on the couch. Le sigh:)

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Emily aka The Three Bite Rule August 28, 2015 - 11:19 am

I hear ya! People are so ridiculous. I found it so weird after I had my baby that some people would say to me that I “looked good for just having a baby”. Well, thanks! I only look acceptable to you because I have an excuse? I 100% agree that it isn’t an invitation to comment on our bodies. It can be tough mentally and physically. I wish you the best! You’ll be great!

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Shannon August 26, 2015 - 6:30 pm

You look absolutely fabulous. Drown out those assholes.

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icejules2@hotmail.it August 19, 2015 - 2:17 am

From your pics I think everything is going well, so let your co worker and other talk, this is a very good moment for you!!!

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Sally August 18, 2015 - 11:30 am

Ahhh, you look super adorable 🙂 I think this is just the most exciting time ever, but it’s too bad people are so ridiculous with their comments. I guess they mean well and just don’t know when it’s best to keep your most immediate thoughts to yourself :). Still, the most important thing is the new life that is happening! Congrats again!

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Lizzy August 18, 2015 - 9:39 am

You look AMAZING for 27 weeks! I’m not sure what people are talking about because you look like a normal size for being that far along. I was a giant mess at 27 weeks! I had people asking me if I had a few weeks to go. I wanted to punch them. I don’t get why people think it’s okay to make comments like that. I had probably close to 10 people asking me if I was sure I was only having 1 kid.

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Jayson @ Monster Piggy Bank August 18, 2015 - 5:25 am

Yay! You’re pregnant. Congratulations. I am amazed with your outlook and feelings about being pregnant. It’s really a mix of different emotions. But, what you have to believe in is that it’s part of God’s plan. Keep safe.

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cece August 17, 2015 - 10:05 am

It always surprises me when people think pregnancy will be “not that bad” because I honestly don’t see how that would ever be the case unless you are one of those I didn’t know I was pregnant people with zero to minimal symptoms. I’d fully go into it prepared for awful-and then be surprised if it wasn’t. I’m also surprised how insensitive people are. I have a co-worker who is pretty petite and her belly popped so forward and was so narrow I couldn’t take my eyes off of it sometimes! It was really bizarre I never said a rude word. I did say you are all belly-which I think is a compliment to pregnant women (I hope!!). I think for the most part people don’t mean to be rude. Maybe because it’s a “temporary” thing caused by an actual baby and say, not too many cookies (although presumably it could be a combo of both) people just feel like it’s okay? Anyway, it’s not okay to comment like that. You do look good! You look so cute and just like like a woman who has a baby in her stomach!

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revanche@agaishanlife.com August 17, 2015 - 9:31 am

Oh goodness, people can be 100% out-of-line horrible just because you’re pregnant. It’s like the sight of a pregnant woman brings out the “http://agaishanlife.com/2014/11/pre-parenting-rant-some-people-are-the-worst/”>absolute worst in them. (To be fair, it also brings out the best in others, as you say.) I remember an old man coming up to me in the grocery store, blocking my path, to declare that He Just KNEW I was going to have a boy. I was so fed up with these BS declarations one way or the other that I snapped “Who asked you?” and walked away. It might have been the only time I reacted the way I’d wanted to to such intrusive rudeness.

I’m sorry you’re getting a big dose of this. It stinks. This is your pregnancy – yours to experience however the heck you need to and it’s no one else’s business how much weight you gain or how you manage it except yours, Eric’s, and your doctor’s.

12 more weeks! I hope you spend the rest of this time in as much comfort as is possible for this stage so you can enjoy this transition in your life. I used to laugh at anyone who said “enjoy your pregnancy” because it was physically awful for me but I do understand now, a bit, that there is something to be enjoyed in those last days together as a family without this baby and the change you’re about to undergo.

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Sam August 17, 2015 - 8:31 am

I think you look beautiful! People can be hurtful, but just keep health and sanity as your goals, even if you don’t meet them everyday.

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