What I miss about being single

by Erika Torres

Eric and I have had a problem that has lasted throughout our entire 2.4 years of marriage. It is the kind of problem that makes me wake him up at 6:30 a.m. on a Thursday so that I can yell at him about it.

Eric eats all the food. EVERYTHING.

Not just like, oh he eats his half of the food, no, more like he eats all the food and you have to fend for myself. Sometimes I wonder if he honestly expects me to start hunting coyote in our backyard just so I have something to eat. Possum, anyone?

When I was single, I could keep a pint of ice cream for a month, because I would have only a couple of tablespoons at a time and usually after dinner. Now, I’m lucky if a pint of ice cream lasts two days in our house. This is one of the reasons I don’t buy sweets anymore–it’s not like I’ll even get to eat them anyway. I was thrilled recently when I discovered that Eric did not like the greek frozen yogurt I bought. This half-gallon has lasted me three weeks now and I still have a fourth left!

At one point in our marriage, I got smart and started labeling foods so that he couldn’t eat my half–and let’s be straight, I don’t even get half the food, because he just eats SO much and okay he does weigh like 80 pounds more than me and is about 7 inches taller, but I get like a fourth, a third if I’m lucky.

Proof here:

This week, I’ve been making black bean and egg white burritos. I ran out of tortillas and cheese on Tuesday so I asked him to pick some up since he had the day off. He purchased tortillas (10 count) and cheese (8 oz) Tuesday EVENING, not DAY, but EVENING. On Wednesday morning, I made my black bean and egg white burrito and measured out one ounce of shredded cheese.

This morning, I went to make my burrito and there were only three tortillas left and when I went to add my cheese, the bag was gone–I ended up finding the empty bag in the trash can!

In ONE day you ate SIX tortillas and SEVEN ounces of cheese? It was enough to make me march upstairs and wake him up and proclaim loudly: “From now on, we buy our own cheese and put our names on it! I am not sharing cheese with you anymore!”

I know it was a childish move, but it was the last straw of a long line of expecting food to be there only to find out that Eric ate it. It’s like he just has no regard for whether someone else (ie, ME) would like some, he eats it ALL.

This is true with peanut butter, sweets, any carb, and definitely cheese.

It’s been so bad at times that we’ve even hidden food from each other. I had bought a jar of cookie butter and got four tablespoons of it, before Eric ate it all. The next week, he bought a jar and hid it from me. When I found it hidden behind some bowls, I took the last three tablespoons he had left. You should have seen his face when he saw the empty jar–it was sweet, sweet revenge.

Aside from getting a his and hers refrigerator, what do I do? I think I am definitely going to label my food and I plan to start hiding all non-perishable items. Drastic measures, people.

This is what it has come down to. Hiding food from your spouse.

Does anyone else have this problem? How do you handle it?


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[…] that were full this morning. But don’t despair, married folks! With the help of a Sharpie, Erika and Eric have managed to sort it out and still live happily ever […]

Elizabeth July 22, 2020 - 8:16 pm

I am currently going through this with my hubby!! We have been married for 4 years and with this pandemic it has only gotten worse since he’s stuck working from home. I get so frustrated. And he also wants to loos weight. I’m glad I’m not the only person who is going or has gone through this. 2 bunches of bananas will be totally gone in 2 days!! 5 yogurt cups in 2 days!!! I just don’t know what To do anymore.. and of course he won’t listen to me nor my healthy eating tips.. And he refuses to see a dietician or trainer..

KaTrena March 23, 2015 - 8:17 pm

I have the same problem. We have been married for 6 years and our food bill has increased. He feels that contributing $600 monthly isn’t enough so he eats EVERYTHING in the house to force me to buy more food. I’m going to tell him that I’m no longer going to buy food, since he eats them all up he can buy his own food. I will buy things that I like and keep them at the office. I’m ready to get a divorce behind this selfish behavior. Its repulsive.

Ve January 4, 2016 - 9:41 am

U are living my life not only does he contribute nothing but eats everything I buy, and when I cook he can’t pass the stove without eating again and again, also I hate having to hide food in my own home, he calls me everyday to see what I want to eat, never ask if the bills are payed, I’m really about to divorce this self lil boy..

Cindy September 29, 2014 - 11:16 am

My husband and I actually got into an argument about this last night.
The problem is I am on a diet, and he is not. So I buy a lot of “diet friendly’ stuff, that he has no REASON to be eating. He gets mad because he says he’s “not allowed to eat anything” and he has to ask permission to eat things, and that’s not entirely true.
But If I buy 6 yogurts because that’s what I eat every day for breakfast, and he eats one of them, yes I’m going to get pissed, because you just ate one of my breakfasts. At least ask me if its ok to eat one, and maybe I won’t mind. I don’t go eating his cereal, granola bars, bread, cream cheese or anything else HE eats for breakfast and I would certainly NEVER finish them, I’d never hear the end of that.
Last night it was about those spreadable cheese wedges. There were THREE different flavors in the fridge and I had previously told him I didn’t like two of them, so he could eat them all. There are only 5 or 6 wedges in a pack, and they each had 2 wedges left.
So not only can he not just eat one, he has to eat TWO at a time, but then he goes and eats two of the the ONE flavor that I said I like, leaving me with 1 in the pack. I said something, he got mad, threw them across the room, and still isn’t speaking to me.
When I ask him what snacks he wants in the house, he won’t tell me, but then gets annoyed that there are never any snacks he’s allowed to eat. Well if you don’t tell me what you want, then I’m buying my own snacks and NO you can’t eat them.

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[…] I have a feeling this will definitely be the most dangerous tip since everyone knows Eric and I fight over cheese. Seriously, you can create a really great cheese plate with about three different $4 selections of […]

Kristin September 16, 2012 - 2:21 pm

I admit that this drives me CRAZY. I mean, I’ve been known to hide food from my husband. However, he spends so much time away (deployed) that I try not to rant about it. I’d rather have him here eating my secret stash of oreos than in Afghanistan.

TheFrenchWIfe September 5, 2012 - 1:03 pm

Are you okay?! I’m worried about your lack of posts and I miss reading you! Hope all is well!

Elena @ First Aid Myths September 2, 2012 - 10:53 pm

Hahaha, this is way too funny! I guess a lot of men are like that. I have been with my wonderful man for 5 years and he has done the same thing to me until I got on his case and started leaving him notes like “Leave some dinner for me or I will eat you up”. He knew if I was hungry after work – no messing with me! After 5 years of living together and having him wait for me to have dinner together, his bad habits are gone.

Cassi August 30, 2012 - 6:40 pm

This happens at my house as well! My mom always marks her items as “MOM” and expects me not to eat it.

On the contrary.

Since I grew tall enough to reach the top shelf (or tall enough to climb on the pantry to the top shelf) my mom hasn’t been able to keep me out of her food, but she doesn’t make a big deal out of it because I rarely take the very last of whatever item I am stealing.

Maybe you start buying foods he doesn’t like? 😉

bogofdebt August 29, 2012 - 1:53 pm

This happesn so often around my house! I wrote about having cookie gnomes the other day because cookies kept disapperaing from the plates I was putting them on to cool faster than I could make them. Then we had a discussion on who I made the cookies for–he felt that I made them for him when really I was craving chocolate and was okay with sharing the cookies I made for myself.

Kathleen @ Frugal Portland August 29, 2012 - 11:29 am

He sounds like an adorable puppy. Irritating as hell, I’m sure, but cute, right? And those eyes — you can’t stay mad at those eyes! I have to say, sometimes I wish my boyfriend would eat the ice cream in my freezer, to protect me from myself! 🙂

Sarah August 28, 2012 - 8:53 pm

I started buying food only once every 10 days I wrote out a menu and posted it on the inside of the pantry.
If the food was gone there would be no dinner, no lunch and no breakfast.
I bought three items each week for his snack baskets and 10 items for his evening snack basket he learned to stay away from all other foods or he knew he was going to have to buy take out for us to eat.
He ate so much he gained almost 100lbs in the first two years of marriage.
So yeah, that is how I did it. Plus I have to admit I went hungry a ton as well.

Anne @ Unique Gifter August 28, 2012 - 1:26 pm

hahaha nice.
Generally, my spouse and I have shared the same schedule, so it was never much of a worry.
I can pretty much guarantee which things will be eaten when I’m not around though.

Lea August 28, 2012 - 9:33 am

I made Kraft dinner for myself on Friday afternoon and went to eat the leftovers on Saturday afternoon and it was gone! I was so mad. I woke up my hubby to find out if he did indeed eat it (which he did) and yell at him. He apologized several times, but I think I’m still mad at about days later!

I try to tell him in advance if there’s something specific I have my eye on (i.e. the last tortilla wrap, or the last banana) and he’s usually good about not eating it then.

Jesort415 August 28, 2012 - 9:16 am

My hubs does this too. I like cheese doodles, he claims he doesn’t but every.single.time I buy them his hand is in my bag. I usually do a shopping trip to restock MY goody’s and I have a cabinet in the kitchen that is specifically mine meaning not hubby not kids can have any (in all fairness I usually get my snacks when the kids are in bed so no one is staring at me with sad puppy dog eyes). Unlike everyone else in my house I am watching my weight so when I buy low fat cookies or reduced fat chips I don’t wanna share. They get “real” cookies so why do they have to have mine too!

One Frugal GIrl August 27, 2012 - 6:19 am

This post is so funny. I’ve rarely had this issue with my husband (once or twice) and we’ve been together for 15 years, but when I was a kid my dad used to do this all the time! Every time I brought home leftovers he would eat them. Finally I started writing my name on the top of the container and explicitly telling him not to eat my food. it worked. If I didn’t put my name on it and tell him though he’d eat it. I actually think the problem is that my dad was a snacker. I don’t know if Eric has this problem, but every time I turned around his head was in the fridge. He’s struggled with his weight for as long as I can remember and it’s because he doesn’t eat full meals. He just grazes from the fridge. When you eat like that everything inside the fridge seems to be there for the taking.

zellie August 27, 2012 - 2:37 am

I guess I’m sort of lucky in the aspect that we share food. However this one time I had a root beer waiting for me in the fridge that I had been thinking about all day at work only to come home and find the empty can on our dresser. You couldn’t even put it in the kitchen? Ugh!

However, when it comes to food on a plate, I pretty much have to fend for myself. We like to share food a lot (it’s easier and cheaper and I don’t eat much to begin with) and when I’m hungry it’s like, I have to eat faster than him or I won’t get any food LOL!

There are certain foods that don’t stand a chance… shredded cheese (he eats straight out of the bag) and bacon bits (for salad) and ice cream sandwiches!

Elizabeth @ Broke Professionals August 26, 2012 - 5:06 pm

Oh my gosh, each week, I feel like we’re more and more alike. DH and I have DEFINITELY had this argument; I tell him at least once a week not to eat something simply because he’s already eaten too much and that food is money (forget time; time is free – it’s FOOD that is expensive!). I will also put labels on food, telling him something is for our kids, not for his 11pm cereal craving!

Erin @ His & Hers August 26, 2012 - 1:20 pm

I secretly love when Rick doesn’t like something that I do. MORE FOR ME. 😉

Shannon August 26, 2012 - 7:10 am

Oh man we totally haev this problem. Hardscape eats everything in sight too and WHY?!?! I make supper. How does one sit and eat all the cheese, yes, cheese in our house too. I do a lot of hiding also. He won’t go looking for it and absolutely no sweets. Last week I randomly bought a bad of peanut M&M’s. Yea, I had about 2. He texted me to inform me he ate the WHOLE bag for breakfast.

Caity August 24, 2012 - 4:42 pm

My husband ALWAYS eats more than his share, even at other people’s houses, and never asks if it’s ok. Do what I did: buy the peanut butter Oreo dog treats at trader joes, put them in a ziplock bag, place on counter. Watch the whole bag of “cookies” disappear. Then ask him where the dog treats sitting on the counter went. If he gets mad, then tell him that he should’ve asked before the ENTIRE bag was eaten. Seriously, this scared him straight for at least a month.

sara August 24, 2012 - 10:48 am

Yep, we definitely have this problem! He just eats so. much. The really frustrating thing is, he’ll go through all the Ben & Jerry’s or something like that, and that seem to be annoyed that *I* am annoyed. It’s like he thinks I’m being petty or unwilling to share because I wanted *some* of it before it all disappeared. It’s gotten better, but we still work on it & I think we both have small resentments over the issue.

Stephanie August 24, 2012 - 10:46 am

I had to take a super deep breath after reading this one…I felt my anger rising along with yours as I imagined you marching up those stairs. While ithis post is funny on the surface, his darn near taking out the items that you’d just ask him to replace is nothing but rude & inconsiderate. Seriously? Who does that? He sprinted way past nibbling the last of the ice cream…”Dude, she JUST sent you to the store for that! If you had your eye on it, why didn’t you just buy more??? You were at the store!” So I’m having a bit of trouble just laughing at this…if this is really bothering you and that aspect of it would bother me, it sounds like you need to have a serious conversation with him about how this makes you feel.

Having said that, my hubby and I are constantly joking about how one or the other of us, usually him, will get to something that the other was eyeing. We don’t leave the other completely stranded but we both have healthy appetites. We’ve resorted to calling dibs and buying more food than a normal family of 2 should need. And unfortunately, he likes to try new foods. So he’ll sample whatever I eat and quickly develop a hankering for it…Case in point: hummus. I didn’t realize till I came home to a half-empty container that he even ate the stuff! And don’t get me started on greek yogurt. I bought a bunch on sale and was really looking forward to trying some new flavors. He beat me to them. Liked them so much he asked me to get some more. SMH.

newlywedsonabudget August 24, 2012 - 11:19 am

Yes, it was meant to be a humorous post, but I definitely realized how angry I felt about the whole situation. It’s not fair that just because he doesn’t care about how much he eats, that I get screwed over because I have portion control.

We did have an earnest conversation about this last night, and I asked him that from now on, if it’s the last bites of something, to please ask before he devours it. I said he really needs to work on being more considerate. I guess I need to work on training him…

jobo August 24, 2012 - 9:45 am

That is hilarious but also must be SO frustrating!! M is pretty good, and usually half of what he eats I don’t or vice versa so it works 😉 I love cookie butter – what a bummer. I would say separate foods for both might be your best (only?!) option??

Laura August 24, 2012 - 8:47 am

I hide cookies and crackers from my husband. He knows where my hiding spot is, but if it’s not in the cabinet, he won’t go searching for it. Out of sight, out of mind! He actually encouraged me to do that, because he LOVES those types of things and has trouble stopping himself from eating them.

Have you tried asking him to add things to the grocery list when it runs out? That way you aren’t surprised by it?

newlywedsonabudget August 24, 2012 - 11:14 am

Well in this particular instance, I should add that we had bought a bag of cheese on Saturday. By Tuesday, it was finished. So he bought ANOTHER bag of cheese because I asked, and by Thursday morning it was gone. I can’t keep sending him to the store to keep buying more food because he finishes it in two days! He needs to learn how to control himself around cheese!

CeCe @Frugalista Married August 24, 2012 - 8:45 am

So funny! Well, not funny for you at all. I used to actually have this problem with my dad when I lived at home. You could hide it and label it and he still didn’t care. He ate whatever he wanted. It was so frustrating and downright rude. I don’t have this problem with my hubby. In fact-I’m more likely to be the culprit for eating the rest of the pretzels or the rest of the peanut butter chocolate chips which he needed for baking and they were gone!! Oops. I’ve had to go out and buy new bags of pretzels to replace what I ate! I do try to be courteous. If it’s foods you eat at work work you can just store them there. We both do that just ’cause it’s easier. At home food labeling sounds like the way to go. As long as he can respect that label then you’ll be good. You might even get a little bin for the pantry and for the fridge if you just want it to be your stash. That way he knows what not to touch and your food doesn’t go missing!!

DCSquared August 24, 2012 - 8:31 am

OMGoodness…this is priceless. Let me say you are NOT alone! :o) I can’t say mind has gone this far, but it’s super close. I will buy stock pile of things with coupons. He thinks that he needs to eat everything in a weeks time EVEN if I’ve bought things that should last us maybe three weeks instead. So I have to hide food too! It’s CRAZY!!! But actually I just put food in a place that is not in direct eyesight and he will not even see it! SMH lol

But they do NOT want us calling them children! LOL

Jordann @ My Alternate Life August 24, 2012 - 7:56 am

My fiancée and I are also very territorial about our food. I’ve definitely given him the evil eye when he’s reached his hand into MY chip bag, and he’s been known to scarf a whole tub of ice cream before I can even get a spoonful. Luckily we don’t like each other’s snack items. We label things. Not everything, but the high value items that I want to at least have some of before it’s toast. It seems to work pretty well, but I don’t think my fiancée’s appetite is as crazy as your husband’s!

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J.Mill August 24, 2012 - 6:53 am

My husband and I don’t have this problem because we generally don’t like the same things. He’s also pretty good about sharing – except when he leaves his shoes on my side of the bed. I hate when he treats our whole bedroom like it’s his!

But I did have the food problem growing up. I was one of 5 in a small household and leftovers were prime-picking. If my dad saw a white box in the fridge and you didn’t write you name on it LARGE enough, he’d eat your leftover fried rice! We were poor though, so any food from a restaurant (even leftovers) was considered a treat!

Debt and the Girl August 24, 2012 - 6:22 am

I can sympathize. My BF has a very physically intensive job and as a result, he eats a pretty decent amount. I have opened many a jar to find that it is completely empty and that is NOT fun-especially when you are hungry. So far, I try to keep the things that we both eat a lot of in stock so it doesn’t affect us too much but it does sneak up on you every once in a while. For example, my BF eats a lot of peanut butter and I constantly have to keep buying more or we will be completely out!

justrealhappy August 23, 2012 - 9:30 pm

Hhahaha! Sorry to laugh at your pain, cause I know you’re being dead serious. I have no advice to share. This is rarely a problem for us. We live above a restaurant. If you ever come to Pittsburgh, we will feed you!

Jen August 23, 2012 - 9:26 pm

We had this issue when we first moved in together, but thankfully, my husband has learned that he does not want to see the “hangry” side of me when I come home expecting something to be there and then find out that it’s not!! We have different sort of “trigger” foods as well – he couldn’t care less about ice cream, but if there are chips or brownies hanging around, I have to be very clear, lol.

SavvyFinancialLatina August 23, 2012 - 8:05 pm

BTW there have been times where I have gotten mad at him because he has eaten my leftovers from a restaurant. Arghhhh especially my chicken from olive garden!!!!

SavvyFinancialLatina August 23, 2012 - 8:02 pm

I laughed a little not in a bad way just because this happens with my husband and I. He eats everything. He eats a lot. It helps that he doesn’t eat what I eat now because he is on a super healthy diet, but you should see how much we spend on groceries. It’s as much as my mom would spend on family of four. :/

I have no advice, other than buying stuff he doesn’t eat.

Stacy August 23, 2012 - 7:47 pm

I completely understand your issue. My husband grew up in an Italian house with 2 bothers, dad and mom who all can put down a lot of food. I’ve see my husband go through a whole box of Gushers in one night. It’s pretty gross. However, I have learned if I buy the same food for months & months he starts getting board and doesn’t eat as much. Plus, like you have learned if you find food he won’t eat (my husband won’t eat mushrooms) you just buy that (I order my half of pizza with mushrooms for that reason) and you’ll be set.

Teacher Girl August 23, 2012 - 7:36 pm

“From now on, we buy our own cheese and put our names on it! I am not sharing cheese with you anymore!” — Best. Line. Ever.

I know this isn’t funny, but it was, ya know? I think labeling and communication are key here. Good luck!

Mo' Money Mo' Houses August 23, 2012 - 6:41 pm

My BF and I don’t have that problem with food but we do with beer. If he leaves some beer in the fridge I will drink it and most likely not remember to replace it. So far it’s not an issue but we’ll see if it becomes one once we’re married and stuck together forever.

Andy August 23, 2012 - 6:26 pm

Labeling is a good idea -and buying your own food is a good idea – Hiding food is not a good thing.

As I type this I may or may not be eating the cake that my husband baked last night and hoping he does not notice that I licked the plate where my piece of cake was sitting. mmm Cake. (I am doing it)

The truth is my husband and I never eat the last of anything without checking with the other person/telling them before the next meal – if it is something that we both like. we live in a small apartment and keep similar hours for work so it is not a big deal to communicate about food.

I had to explain to him that leaving less than a sip or more than four crackers is the same thing as not eating the rest – but we always give each other a heads up before/after we finish something if it is something we both like a lot and do not have a back up for – that way the other person does not have food disappointment.

that being said – no one messes with my cheese – it is an understood rule.

Tanner August 23, 2012 - 6:05 pm

I hope I’m not the only one slightly shocked by this… I don’t know how sustainable it is to label food. What if one day there’s no food in the house (legitimately) and he ends up eating your food? I don’t think the shouting will help, or is a pretty healthy thing to do. Since he is eating a lot more, how about he puts forth more money towards groceries? Like, double the budget on his own, that way you can buy a LOT of food. Keep tabs on how much more food is going out than coming in and perhaps start buying larger portions. I know it’s just the two of you right now, but perhaps you should start buying as if there were 3-4 people in the house? Also, have him in on the plan. Eating that much can’t be healthy unless he’s under some sort of athletic fitness program.

newlywedsonabudget August 24, 2012 - 10:54 am

Well, i was trying to be a bit humorous– i mean it seems sort of silly that we’re arguing about cheese. But for the record, we ALWAYS have food in the house.

eemusings August 23, 2012 - 5:37 pm

I definitely used to have this problem, and it really upset me because we buy as much food as we need (we don’t have a lot of room to stockpile, and stockpiling costs money, and we don’t have coupons here, and T is not good at rationing so stockpiling would probably simply result in us eating more). I would have meltdowns if I’d been looking forward to eating something and he demolished it first.

No solutions sorry really, but labelling probably sounds like the best solution. T also goes through weird phases where sometimes he hardly eats for days, leading to food waste, which is almost as annoying.

newlywedsonabudget August 24, 2012 - 10:52 am

yeah i think from now on, i will buy cheese but i will put my half of the cheese in my own ziploc baggie. and since i weigh out my portions, i will know if he’s stolen some! does this sound drastic?

Mrs. Pop @ Planting Our Pennies August 23, 2012 - 5:27 pm

Haha – every once in a while we eat the last bit of something the other wanted, but it’s the exception instead of the rule. Short of starting to eat food the hubs doesn’t like, labeling food off limits doesn’t sound like a bad plan. Or start buying more of it?

newlywedsonabudget August 24, 2012 - 10:44 am

It’s definitely not the food buying that’s a problem, because we have other food. It’s that anything that is super yummy–like cheese, peanut butter, etc–he eats it ALL. He has no limit, he will just eat the whole thing. Whereas I know these things are full of calories, so I like to just have a little at a time.

Maria August 27, 2012 - 6:02 am

How about you stop buying the super yummy food? if he’s like my XBF he won’t miss it, he only eats it because it’s there.

Remy @MLISunderstanding August 23, 2012 - 5:26 pm

Awww, man, that would tick me off! Even when sharing living space with roomies and housemates, I’m pretty free with sharing my food — but NOT my ice cream. Grrrrr. (On the flip side, my sweetie has found a half-dozen flavors she likes but I won’t touch, so she can count on it being in the freezer when she wants it.)

I guess my assessment of the situation would look into what the Big Problems are. Is his food intake excessive enough to be detrimental to his well-being? Or is it just really annoying that you don’t get to eat the foods you want and thought were in the house? Is he eating more than you two can afford to pay for groceries? Or is it just a pain to shop so frequently?

If the money’s there, maybe it would help to simply buy more food. Maybe he should do the grocery shopping from a list you both agree on. If you’re really worried about the eating itself, and not that he’s being inconsiderate, maybe he should discuss it with his doctor. Or maybe there can be “his”, “hers”, and “ours” food — it works for some people with money, which doesn’t even have good and bad flavors. 🙂

Jessica @ Budget For Health August 23, 2012 - 5:05 pm

What is cookie butter?! I laughed at this post and read it to Dave. He eats a lot but I haven’t had to write my name on anything. He’s been working out more lately and therefore eats even more….last night he woke up around 2am because he was hungry and ate a bowl of cereal. Now I can literally expect food to disappear overnight 😉


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