Surprises can show your spouse how much you care and help keep your relationship fresh and exciting. However, not everyone likes surprises, so it’s important to confirm that your wife enjoys this romantic gesture. The type of surprise also matters. Ill-planned trips or unexpected major purchases can be more of a burden than a gift. Below, we’ll explore 10 surprises that new wives hate to help you avoid common pitfalls.
1. Generic Surprises
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Generic surprises like roses and chocolates on Valentine’s Day may not impress after several years of dating. At this point in the relationship, spouses should know enough about each other to personalize the gifts they get each other. The surprises you choose for your spouse should ideally reflect their interests. Instead of picking “safe” options like red roses, make an effort to figure out their favorite flower. Putting extra thought into presents will show how deeply you care about your spouse.
2. Gifts for Himself
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One of the surprises that new wives hate is a gift that their husbands want. Men will sometimes try to pass off presents on their wishlists as gifts for their wives. Men should think twice before “surprising” their wives with sports tickets or tools they don’t actually want. Try not to project your idea of a great surprise onto your spouse. Consider which presents or experiences they’d actually enjoy based on their interests and things they’ve told you.
3. Surprise Trips
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Surprise trips can be romantic as long as they don’t create extra work for your spouse. If you want your wife to appreciate the gesture, it’s important to take care of all the logistics, from finding a pet sitter to packing the bags. If you don’t do a good job of planning the trip, this type of surprise can be more stressful than relaxing. Don’t expect your wife to find childcare or plan activities at the last minute. Additionally, make sure you can afford the getaway without creating any budget shortfalls that your wife will have to sort out later.
4. Surprise Visits
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Next on the list of surprises that new wives hate are unplanned visits from family and friends. Bringing guests to the house unannounced can put undue stress on your wife. She probably needs time to clean, run errands, and get ready. Even if she’s excited to see her loved ones, she may resent you for showing up with extra people she wasn’t prepared to host. In our opinion, it’s best to give her a heads-up in advance so she doesn’t have to scramble.
5. Financial Surprises
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Even if you’re the main money manager in your household, your wife may not appreciate financial surprises. It’s important to discuss major money moves with your spouse ahead of time to ensure he or she is on board. Believe it or not, taking out loans or investing in new assets without your spouse’s permission can be considered a form of infidelity. So make sure your spouse agrees with your decision before you invest in crypto or open a new credit card.
6. DIY Projects
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Another one of the surprises that new wives hate are unplanned DIY projects. Women are often particular about their home environment and want to be involved in the design and renovation process. Making aesthetic improvements without your wife’s input may backfire. Even if you think she wants turquoise tile, it’s best to check with her before you start ripping the bathroom apart. Surprising her may lead to conflict or disappointment if you accidentally pick finishes she hates.
7. Unplanned Upgrades
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Surprising your spouse with a new phone, computer, or camera can feel like such an amazing gesture, but it can backfire. While it’s a very nice thought to get this upgrade for your spouse, if you don’t have a discussion about what they want in a new version, you’re taking a gamble.
With all of the different options on the market, it’s very likely that the item you choose may not have the specific features your spouse is looking for. Instead of surprising them with an upgrade, take your spouse shopping and have a shopping spree to allow them to pick out exactly what they want.
8. Buying a Pet
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Surprising your wife with an adorable furry friend may seem like a great idea at first. However, it’s important to remember that pets are a big commitment. Dogs and cats can live for 15 years or more and require lots of love and care. Your wife may not be ready to commit to training a rambunctious puppy or scooping litter every day.
Even if she wants a pet, she may prefer to be involved in picking the perfect breed for your family. Since owning a pet is such a big responsibility, make sure to involve your spouse in the process.
9. Major Purchases
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Car commercials have popularized the idea of surprising your spouse with a car. However, major purchases are one of the surprises that new wives hate. Expensive items like cars, hot tubs, and motorcycles need to be budgeted for carefully. It’s unfair to spring a new ATV with a hefty monthly payment on your wife without discussing it first.
Plus, she’ll probably want to come with you to the dealership to pick a model she loves. Don’t fall for car ads that make buying a surprise SUV look like a great idea—your wife will be much happier if you involve her in major purchasing decisions!
10. Gourmet Meal Surprise
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Cooking for your spouse can be a thoughtful gesture. However, it’s important to follow a few ground rules. If your 5-course surprise makes a huge mess, don’t expect your spouse to clean up afterwards. Your gourmet meal may feel like a burden instead of a gift if she has to scrub the kitchen for two hours afterwards.
It’s also important to make dishes you can actually pull off. Practice making the recipes beforehand, especially if you’re cooking dinner for a special occasion. The last thing your spouse wants on your wedding anniversary is burnt chicken and soggy green beans.
What are the worst and best surprises you’ve ever gotten? Share your experiences below.
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