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Once you say your vows, life often changes. You may not expect to fight, but it’s very normal. Plus, if you haven’t lived together, you may also go through some growing pains as a couple. Little things can turn into a fight before you know it. Here are seven common fights newlyweds have and how to avoid them.
1. The “Correct” Way to Load the Dishwasher
You thought marriage was about love, turns out it’s also about utensil placement. One of you stacks for efficiency, the other for chaos, and suddenly it’s shouting over silverware. Everyone has their own way of doing things, from loading the dishwasher to doing the laundry. It’s best to be clear about your preferences up front. Be honest about your non-negotiables and where you can compromise.
2. Blanket Hogging & Thermostat Battles
You liked cuddling until you realized one of you is a furnace and the other is a human icicle. Say hello to passive-aggressively kicking the covers off (or stealing them back). It may always be a battle when it comes to temperature at night. In fact, 75% of couples fight over the thermostat. Try getting things like a fan and extra blankets so you are both comfortable.
3. What Counts as “Cleaning”
To one, it means a full wipe-down, vacuum, and scrub. To the other, it means lighting a candle and hiding clutter in a drawer. Make sure you discuss cleaning methodology and divvy up responsibilities. It may even be helpful to come up with a cleaning schedule.
4. How Much Time to Spend With In-Laws
You love their family, but how many weekends with your in-laws does it take before someone snaps over a passive-aggressive comment? In these situations, have each other’s backs. Keep communication open if you’re struggling with the in-laws. Ultimately, your partner and their feelings have to be your priority.
5. What Counts as a “Big” Purchase
You thought it was fine to drop $250 on headphones. They thought groceries were already “splurging.” Welcome to financial debates. Almost every couple has fights about money. Sit down and budget together to avoid big arguments about how you spend your money.
6. TV Show Infidelity
You agreed to watch the series together, but someone watched 3 more episodes alone, and now it feels like a betrayal. If you have activities that you only do together, stick to them. As newlyweds, you’ll have to find a balance between time together and maintaining your own identities. It’s ok to spend time apart sometimes
7. How to Spend Your Weekends
One wants to go out, socialize, and host a game night. The other just wants silence, a hoodie, and to scroll in peace. Finding that rhythm? Takes time and probably a fight or two.
Getting Past Newlywed Fights
After the honeymoon phase, you’ll probably have more than one fight with your spouse. Once you find your rhythm as a married couple, these fights may settle down. Just remember that it takes work and open dialogue to create the life you want together that works for both of you.
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