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When we see images of Thanksgiving in movies or on TV, a beautiful picture of togetherness is usually painted. We’re wired to believe that the holiday is supposed to be filled with gratitude, family, and togetherness. But, in reality, it can be filled with stress, drama, and expectations. For many couples in their first year, it’s the beginning of the end. The emotional landmines can expose cracks in a new relationship. From awkward family introductions to mismatched traditions, Thanksgiving fights are surprisingly common. If you’re in a new relationship, here are the seven arguments most likely to ruin your holiday and your future together.
1. The “Whose Family Comes First” Debate
If you’re in a serious relationship, you’re probably ready to spend the holiday together. But which family do you spend it with? Or do you try to split your time? In that case, which family only gets to see you for dessert? Each partner may feel pressure from their own relatives, leading to guilt, resentment, or accusations of selfishness. As time goes on, if one person insists on prioritizing their family every year, the other may feel sidelined. This fight often reveals deeper issues about compromise and emotional loyalty. Creating a clear plan is essential to keep the peace with your partner. Once you’re married, this debate will continue to happen if left unresolved.
2. Clashing Holiday Traditions
From what time dinner is served to who carves the turkey, holiday traditions vary wildly and can feel sacred. Couples often underestimate how important they are. When one partner mocks or dismisses the other’s customs, it can feel like a personal attack. First-year couples may not have the emotional tools to navigate these clashes gracefully. The best solution is often creating meaningful traditions together as a couple. These traditions can be different from what you’ve both always done with your families. Remember, you’re a unit, so make these important decisions together, separate from family.
3. The “Too Soon to Meet the Family” Argument
Thanksgiving is a major family event, and not everyone is ready to bring a new partner into the fold. But that can unravel a relationship. One person may feel excited to introduce their significant other, while the other feels pressured or exposed. If expectations aren’t aligned, this can lead to feelings of rejection or insecurity. Some couples fight over whether it’s “too soon,” while others argue about being left out. Either way, it’s a high-stakes moment that can break the bond. It’s important to talk about your feelings openly with your partner. The more honest you are, the less it will feel like a personal blow.
4. Political Blowups at the Dinner Table
Can your family not help but bring up politics on the holidays? If one partner’s family holds strong, opposing views, it can ruin the holiday. Many couples struggle with whose side to take. If your partner doesn’t defend you or joins in the criticism, it can feel like betrayal. First-year couples may not know how to navigate these situations or set boundaries. The stress of being caught in the crossfire can lead to post-dinner fights that linger long after the gathering. It’s essential to make your partner feel protected and respected in these instances. Then, in the future, they will know that you have their back.
5. Uneven Emotional Labor
Preparing for the holidays can be very stressful. Planning, cooking, traveling, and gift-buying often fall disproportionately on one partner. If the other doesn’t pitch in or show appreciation, resentment builds fast. First-year couples may not have established roles or expectations yet, making it easy for one person to feel overwhelmed. Make sure to share the burden together.
6. Jealousy Over Exes and Old Traditions
Holidays bring nostalgia and sometimes, that includes exes. If one partner still celebrates with an ex’s family or reminisces too fondly, jealousy can erupt. Even old traditions that don’t involve exes can trigger insecurity. First-year couples are still building trust, and Thanksgiving can test it in unexpected ways. Every day, you should work to build trust in your relationship. Then, the holidays and any ex drama won’t shake your solid foundation.
7. The “We’re Not on the Same Page” Realization
Thanksgiving is a time for reflection, and many couples realize they’re not aligned on big-picture goals. Whether it’s future holidays, family planning, or long-term commitment, these conversations often surface around the dinner table. If one partner wants to get serious and the other is still unsure, the tension can lead to a breakup. It’s not always a fight; it’s sometimes a quiet, mutual realization. But it still ends the relationship.
Surviving the Holiday Means Knowing What to Expect
Thanksgiving doesn’t have to ruin your relationship. Preparation is key. These seven fights reveal deeper issues about communication, compromise, and emotional maturity. If you’re in a first-year relationship, talk openly, set boundaries, and manage expectations before the holiday hits.
Have you experienced a Thanksgiving fight that ended a relationship? Share your story or advice in the comments. We’d love to hear how you handled it.
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