Things that irk me

  1. Having to stop at a red light with a billion other cars, and then watch 1 car–one measly little car–cross the intersection. Really, dude? You have to hold everyone else up so you can cross? You couldn’t find another way to get around? You had to take 30 seconds out of my life so you could cross the intersection? Rude. (I also get mad when a pedestrian has to cross the street and I have to wait for them, but if I told you that you would think I was a bad person).
  2. Articles like this. I always see articles that are directed toward wives and how to make us better. How about an article about how to be a better husband? How about a rule like: “She works 40 hours a week too, so that means housework is 50% your responsibility as well. And she shouldn’t have to remind you.” Seriously. This women’s liberation movement just gave wives more shit to do. And how about another rule that goes: “If you had done it a week ago when she first asked nicely, she wouldn’t have to nag you.”
  3. Super loud sneezes. I’m not talking like an “ah-choo” kinda sneeze. I’m talking about freaking jet size noise on that scale that they use to measure noise. I have this one co-worker who sneezes SUPER loud. Like everyone in our department jumps. And you have to think: Really? Is that necessary? You can’t learn to sneeze a little softer? A sneeze is a sneeze, but it doesn’t have to feel like King Kong is attacking the cubicle next to you.
  4. Taking the stall next to me. There are 6 other EMPTY stalls and you have to take the stall RIGHT next to me? It’s bad enough I can’t do #2 if someone else is in the restroom, but now you have to take the stall right next to me? So I either have to pretend that I just finished and flush the toilet, or I have to wait until you’re done and leave and then you really know what I’m doing, OR there’s that awkward silence if you have to do #2 too and then we’re each staring at the other person’s shoes trying to see who’s gonna win the battle of waiting it out the longest. Because no I can not go #2 if you’re sitting there, next to me, waiting for the splash. TMI? Thanks for causing me stomach pains, dumbass.
  5. When celebrities complain about paparazzi. That’s like me winning the lottery and complaining that the water in my infinity pool isn’t warm enough. Here’s a tip, celebrities: You don’t want paparazzi chasing you? Don’t become a celebrity! Genius, right?

What’s irking you today?

25 thoughts on “Things that irk me

  1. August 16, 2011 at 6:20 pm

    2! OMG, 2!!!
    Articles like that make me seeth.

    And how about another rule that goes: “If you had done it a week ago when she first asked nicely, she wouldn’t have to nag you.”

    YES.

  2. August 16, 2011 at 4:35 pm

    I could not agree more with #1, 3, and 4! So funny because those seriously annoy me soo bad too! I also hate people that burst your space bubble and stand freakishly close for no apparent reason.

  3. August 9, 2011 at 9:47 am

    Wow. I’m pretty sure we’re the same person. I will get somewhere an hour early just so I don’t have to sit through rush hour. Because that one car will ruin my whole day. And I’m not all about the women’s liberation. Just because we can do everything doesn’t mean we should have to. And celebrities….if they want the outlandish money they have to do the outlandish job. Get over it.

  4. August 8, 2011 at 2:37 pm

    What about people who let their children sob and wail in fancy restaurants? I hate it when they just let them “cry it out” while everyone else is trying to have dinner. I would accept it if I were in a Mickey D’s, but there’s no reason why a fussy toddler needs to be in a resto with white linens and candles.

    Also, I hate it when people listen to their headphones too loudly and you can hear every word to their bad music. I blogged it here, along with a host of other irkings from public transit: http://answertheunasked.blogspot.com/2011/05/hold-onto-your-hat-and-your-iphone-how.html

  5. August 7, 2011 at 7:21 pm

    Awesome list! I totally agree with you about the articles telling women how to be better wives. I think they’re so many of them because most men aren’t looking to magazines for self-help or marriage advice. xoxo

  6. August 7, 2011 at 7:57 am

    Ha! I said #5 to the people I was out with last night! How funny. I hate when they are all “don’t take my picture and I need privacy.” You get privacy in your own home. The job of celebrity entails being in the public eye.

    Oh, and as for #4…who are they talking to? Someone else in the bathroom or on a cell phone? If it’s cell phone, I make sure I keep flushing the toliet. 🙂 So mean. hehe.

  7. Amanda
    August 6, 2011 at 7:42 pm

    Okay I am just going to say that you CAN”T control your sneezes. I am one of those loud sneezers and it is embarrassing! So if loud sneezes irk you- maybe you can take some solace in knowing that most loud sneezers hate it too!

  8. August 5, 2011 at 8:22 am

    oops, I meant 4!

  9. August 5, 2011 at 8:21 am

    Too funny! I totally agree with you on #6 . . . and in a slightly similiar vein, what irks me is when there is an ENTIRE parking lot open and a car/truck has to pick the spot RIGHT next to me. Seriously, dude – you couldn’t park one spot over?

  10. August 5, 2011 at 7:06 am

    #4 and #5 irk me so much! I always have tummy problems so taking the stall next to me, esp at places like the movie theater where there are like 30, is so annoying.

    Oh and if I hear that stupid Twilight girl, Kristen Stuart (?), talk about how she hates fame one more time on E!, I might slap the TV.

  11. August 5, 2011 at 6:59 am

    you crack me up!!! I totally agree on #1.. my worst irk is when you are turning and you have to wait for someone to walk across the crosswalk and they STROLL at a very leisurely pace, while they are holding up the whole turning lane! MOVE PEOPLE!!!

  12. August 4, 2011 at 10:17 pm

    Loved this post. What is irking me today is moms/nannies that don’t watch their kids at the park or any public space. Only in a brief space of 40 min I saw a kid fall from his bike and cry for his mom for at least 5 min, another little girl ride her scooter all the way to the other side of the park and the mom took forever to find her. And then if you help the kids, they look at your weird. If you don’t want a stranger talking to your kids, please watch them more carefully!

  13. August 4, 2011 at 6:04 pm

    texting and walking pedestrians.

    Your lucky you have six stalls in your bathroom. We only have 2 were I work, so your pretty much screwed, not matter what.

  14. August 4, 2011 at 3:45 pm

    OMG I have a coworker that does the “HEY LOOK AT ME” sneeze… It makes me want to throw my heavy duty stapler at her…

    What about getting stopped at a light and a pedestrian is crossing which makes the light take twice as long??? Makes me want to scream…..

  15. August 4, 2011 at 2:36 pm

    It drives me CRAZY when people sit beside me on the bus or the train. Like, really, buddy, there’s a whole bus worth of seats and you have to sit right next to me. Ugh.

    I think I’ll defend the celebrities, though. Well, some of them. The non jerk ones. I’d consider celebrity to be an unfortunate side effect of doing a job they love. If the world suddenly went topsy turvy, and journalists were like, a big effing deal and paps were following me around everywhere, I would be PISSED, but I don’t know if I’d give up my career for it.

  16. August 4, 2011 at 1:28 pm

    Hahaha, this list is cracking me up! I get irritated at the one car or pedestrian thing too, but I always remind myself it could be me sitting there for 5 minutes waiting to cross too.

    As for the sneezing – oh my goodness. My husband is one of those godzilla sneezers and it kinda drives me nuts. I wish people could learn to sneeze lighter so badly, but he assures me it’s not possible. It can be embarrassing too! He once sneezed in a small, nice bistro and scared everyone. He used to scare the dog too.

  17. Kathi
    August 4, 2011 at 1:23 pm

    I am right with you on most of these, but it’s unfortunate that #1 had to start the list. Really? I’m sure that at other times “Having to wait for a realllllly long stoplight just because I am the only car that has to cross the busy intersection” would show up on your pet peeve list. It’s all about perspective and which spot you (or I) are sitting in at that moment. I am 99% sure you are kidding, but people getting so easily irked (usually seriously, rather than in jest) by common traffic decency and courtesy is on *my* list, particularly as a pedestrian.

    I am so with you on #4. It makes me cranky. Cranky plus bathroom business is obviously no fun.

  18. August 4, 2011 at 12:40 pm

    Totally hear you on the…wait…yes! That’s it. Taking the stall next to me when, hello? Empty stalls everywhere!

    My irk? Trying to get used to the fact that I no longer remember anything longer than about three seconds. It’s totally not my fault. Pregnancy brain exists (just FYI for whenever anyone takes a journey down *that* road)

  19. Jordan
    August 4, 2011 at 12:33 pm

    #4 – freakin’ hilarious. I always feel bad when people are in there when I walk in and are waiting for me to leave to finish their biz. I’m super speedy bc I know how that feels! But when I’m in there and somebody just proceeds to do #2 grosses me out – I don’t want to hear the plops and poots.

  20. August 4, 2011 at 12:31 pm

    OMG I am DYING! These are hysterical and so true – especially #3 and 4. I HATE loud sneezers too. I mean, mine isn’t terribly quiet, but it’s definitely not exorbitant either (not the right word, but I hope you know what I mean!). #4 – glad I work from home now and that’s no an issue 😉 Another one that bugs me (probably because I DO work from home)…people who honk REALLY loud when they are picking someone up in my complex. Like, really? Is THAT necessary? beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. REALLY? your car (or in this one case, a short bus, yes, a short bus) is two feet from their window, pretty sure they can see you, Paco.

  21. August 4, 2011 at 12:08 pm

    I have a co-worker that turns sneezes into events! They are so loud and obnoxious. lol

  22. Dancy
    August 4, 2011 at 11:03 am

    Hah! I could’ve written #’s 3 & 4 myself!! LOL

  23. August 4, 2011 at 11:03 am

    haha, I love #4. I feel the same way! Even if I’m just going #1, don’t sit right next to me if there are open stalls. Awkward!

    I especially hate the celeb/paps thing. Seriously, if you want to be an actor making millions of dollars a film, get over it. You chose a career where you would get recognized/followed. Get over it. There are plenty of celebrities that just don’t go out. They hide away at home, stop complaining and just stay home.

    To add to your list, I hate when I’m walking my dogs and they are doing their business and someone approaches with their barking dog. The worst is when they give me the stink eye for being in the “good grass” and now my dogs are distracted and we have to go out in search of another private area. No common sense, wait for my dogs to finish, we’ll leave, then you can have the area.

  24. Mysti
    August 4, 2011 at 10:40 am

    #4….heehee. I can’t do it either.

  25. August 4, 2011 at 10:35 am

    I love everything about this post and agree with all of them especially numbers 2 and 4!!

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