Start cooking dinner, have him read off his practice answers for his job interview. Interrupt him to give him a suggestion on how to make it better. Have him roll his eyes, say that’s not the direction he wants to go in. Get angry that he’s giving you attitude. Tell him so.
Have him get angry too that you wouldn’t let him finish his entire answer before you started butting in with suggestions. Yell, “Fine, just read the whole thing then and I’ll shut up!” He says yells “Forget it!” Continue cooking dinner in silence.
Realize you’re out of milk and need it to finish making this recipe for dinner. Put your shoes on to go to the store and ask him if he’s going to stop being grumpy. He retorts that you’re the one being grumpy. Words are exchanged.
You grab the dog and head out the door. He asks where you’re going. Yell back “Why do you care?”
Go to the grocery store. Buy milk. Come back home and pass each other as he leaves in his car. Avoid eye contact.
Get back inside the house and realize your potatoes are missing. He hid my potatoes! Finish making dinner without potatoes. Watch Teen Mom while eating dinner.
You hear your phone vibrate. But you can’t find it. It’s not in your purse, it’s not in the kitchen. Clean out your purse, clean out the kitchen, search in the cabinets, in the closet, in the bathroom. He hid my phone!
Think of ways to get back at him. Think of ripping out the plants in his makeshift garden. Reconsider after realizing it would be a waste of money.
Lock the door with the padlock so he can’t get back in. Go to bed angry . Promise yourself that you are not going to let him off easy this time. Puppy dog eyes will not sway you, nor apologetic texts. You want him to get on his knees and beg for forgiveness. You were just trying to help after all. This is not your fault, no way.
Hear a knock at the door. Get out of bed, open the padlock. Avoid eye contact. Get back in bed. Move your foot away so it doesn’t touch his foot. When you wake up in the middle of the night, move your foot again.
Wake up in the morning for bootcamp. See your phone on the kitchen counter. Curse him for hiding your phone. Make lots of noise to wake him up. Slam the door on your way out. After bootcamp, check your phone to see if he’s texted you. It doesn’t matter, you’re going to ignore his texts anyway but you want to make sure that he’s feeling sorry.
Get to work, still no text. Jerk.
20 minutes later, receive text from him. “I’m sorry about last night. I love you.”
Smile. It’s about time. Realize you can never stay mad at him. Text back: “ I hate that I can never stay mad at you.”
Lovey dovey texts are exchanged. He admits he hid the phone. You admit you almost destroyed his beloved garden. Plan to have dinner with his parents.
Go on with your day as normal, counting down the minutes till you can see him again.
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