Here’s something I haven’t mentioned on this lil tiny blog of mine. Perhaps because I’m scared of being judged and you will all run away muttering to yourselves “but I thought she was sooo smart and to find out she’s really just vapid…what a shame…” Because you guys all think I’m smart, huh? Have I fooled you long enough?
I check UsMagazine.com every day. I regularly read UsWeekly and People. I have the TMZ Mobile app. When Michael Jackson died, I knew it was true because TMZ said so. They know their sheet. Harvey Levin has crazy mad secret powers.
So you get it, right? I’m a little celebrity-obsessed. Just a little. It’s not like I talk to myself in the mirror and pretend that Oprah is interviewing me on my life. And it’s not like I’ve ever been caught by anyone lip synching into a mirror and pretending I’m Lady Gaga. Of course not, pshaw.
So when Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt broke up like forever ago, I was heartbroken. You know how people ask you where you were when you find out about 9/11? I knew exactly where I was when I found out Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt broke up. I was home on college break, laying on my bed, in my parents’ old house and my ex had called to tell me the news because he knew I would care. I was heartbroken.
How could this happen? If there was no hope for them, there was definitely no hope for me. They were the glory couple, the prom king and queen.
When I found out about Angelina, I was even more torn. I had always been an Angelina fan, I’ve even told Eric she is the one woman in the world I’d be willing to have a threesome with. TMI? Sorry, mom.
But I was angry with her for doing this to poor Jen. Team Jen? Team Jolie? Oh the tough decisions we have to make in this life.
You may think I’m a little crazy in being so invested in this. But reading about their daily lives, you become invested. Catching up with who married who, who dumped who, and what she was wearing–it all just adds to the fun. Of course I rarely share this secret, because I know what people think. Instead I pretend to be all interested in Newsweek and CNN and stocks and boring stuff that makes me sound smart.
Sure I keep up with the news, and sure I can hold my own in a conversation about the economy and healthcare, but sometimes the real news is so depressing. What can I possibly do to change what is going on? Doesn’t it make you feel helpless at times?
And reading about celebrities? Sometimes it makes you feel good that your life will never be as screwed up as theirs. Same reason I like Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant.
So anyway back to Jen. Turns out she started dating this Justin Theroux guy and he had a girlfriend of 14 years! And all I can think is “hey! you just did the same thing that someone did to you years ago!” Of course, there’s always the excuse of bad timing, but if it quacks like a duck…
I shouldn’t care, right? But I do. I look at her differently now, just like I looked at Meg Ryan differently after she left Dennis Quaid for Russel Crowe, and just how I still change the radio station if a Chris Brown song comes on.
Obviously celebrities should never be seen as role models, but I can still choose who I send good vibes to and who I send bad vibes to. Jen=bad vibes.
And now, I hope you will all keep reading my blog even though I realize how incredibly crazy I sound that I was even able to write a whole post on this.
Are you a celebrity watcher? Or a celebrity-hater? Any thoughts on Jen?