Things I’ve learned from being married

by Erika Torres

Change your idea of romance. Romantic (expensive) dates and flowers are nice, but what really gets to me is coming home to a clean house. Having the dishes washed, the floor vaccummed, the toilet with no skid marks (tmi?). Screw the chocolate, it makes me fat. Wash my car, honey, yeahhhhh….

Label your food. I rarely buy cheese because a) it’s expensive and b)it makes me fat. But sometimes I like to keep a little bit of cheese to sprinkle on top of stuff. One week, I bought cheese on Sunday evening. I made exactly one cup of pasta, with 1/2 cup of spaghetti sauce, and I was going to sprinkle some cheese on top…and the cheese was gone. In 2 days, a half pound of cheese was gone. That’s my husband.

So this leads you to have to label your food. For example, when you buy four tubs of Feta because they are on sale and you have coupons for Buy One, Get One Free, and you pay $5 for 4 tubs of feta, but you know that if you don’t label it, your husband will eat it all. So you have to do this:

And then text him and threaten that if he touches your Feta, World War III will erupt.

Repeat, Repeat and Repeat Again. There are only two ways to clean something: My Way and Not Your Way. When I do the laundry, I like to separate it between Eric’s and my clothes, and what goes upstairs and what goes downstairs. This makes putting away clothes (the chore I hate the MOST) much faster. The few times Eric has done laundry, he doesn’t separate it this way so it takes me forever to put things away. But do I complain? Of course! How is he going to know he is doing it WRONG if I don’t complain? The trick is in the wording…” Honey, thank you SO much for doing the laundry but you know, it would be so much better if….”And just keep repeating it. Over and over again, every time he does it wrong. Eventually, he will get it right. Like how it only took a year of me telling him OVER and OVER before he finally started doing this.

What have you learned from relationships?

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lauryn May 4, 2012 - 5:59 am

Haha, this reminds me of my brother. In high school and early college when we were both at home he would eat my food constantly and I’d have to label things to make sure I could enjoy some myself. So far my future husband hasn’t been as much of a problem, but I’ll keep this in mind in case it becomes an issue 🙂

City Girl August 7, 2011 - 7:14 pm

This is a great list! I’ve heard much of the same from friends of mine with husbands. Think it compounds when there’s non-furry children involved, too ;). xoxo

Amanda August 1, 2011 - 8:01 am

I’m right there with you on the first one! Oh yeah, vacuum that floor!

Teacher Girl July 30, 2011 - 2:24 pm

Lol! This is amazing. I am filing away for future (hopefully) reference.

IntrigueMe July 30, 2011 - 12:18 pm

If I had gone out of my way to do chores or do something nice, and I was repeatedly told it wasn’t good enough or I didn’t do it right…. I would flip my freakin’ lid.

eemusings July 29, 2011 - 5:04 pm

Stick to what you’re good at, and sometimes it’s easier to do things yourself!

Grace July 29, 2011 - 4:02 pm

hahaha! I love the my way is right and yours is wrong. It is so true. I have learned that there are certain chores that are just better when I do it. Or when he does. For instance, going grocery shopping together should be really fun. But no. It’s not. He hates it and gets stressed every time. I prefer to do the shopping and have him unload the car.

Niki July 29, 2011 - 3:41 pm

Oh my, you made me laugh so loud my kids think I am more crazy than usual.

Manual labor is definitely more romantic than flowers and candy. I do believe you have to keep saying the same thing over and over again, they will eventually learn.

jobo July 29, 2011 - 11:38 am

Aw, you two are too cute and perfect for each other, I love it. And I love seeing you grow together since when I met you, you had just married! How cool to see the progression 🙂 Live, and in person too!!! What have I learned? Communication and compromise…not my strong points but areas I am working like hell on together with M. It can be done, right?? 🙂

Melissa July 29, 2011 - 11:14 am

Hahahaha. So funny! Then again, I have to admit, that if I found feta cheese in my fridge, I’d have a very hard time abstaining, even if it belonged to someone else. That stuff is delicious!

Taylor July 29, 2011 - 10:55 am

I laughed OUT LOUD while reading this (and the “5 ways to be the worlds best husband” post). Things I’ve learned from our relationship:

1) Know when your partner has ‘hit their limit’, on any topic. His is finance (he lasts about 20 min) mine is car-talk (about 5)

2) Learn when you are actually upset, and when you just have low blood sugar. There is a difference.

Those are the big, current ones for us. @ariel, we work the same way: I make DH lunch, or its fast food / famine, but mine knows how to work the fridge, because sometimes there is beer in there.

ariel July 29, 2011 - 10:31 am

oh, btw, has $1 off Athos feta right now 🙂 If it doesn’t show up right away try zip code 16050.

ariel July 29, 2011 - 10:17 am

“And then text him and threaten that if he touches your Feta, World War III will erupt.”

LOL! I do not have this problem as of right now, because my husband and I work the same shift and consequently he gets all his meals prepared lovingly for him. On the rare occasions I’m away and he has to fend for himself, he either gets fast food or starves. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know how to operate the fridge.


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