Refreshing Our Marriage

by Erika Torres

Eric and I recently completed a five-week course at our church called “Refreshing Your Marriage.” It’s the standard get-your-butt-out-of-the-house, be-more-intimate, show-affection stuff, but it was a reminder we sorely needed.

Between Eric’s crazy work schedule and just the craziness of day-to-day life in itself, we’ve definitely fallen into a rut. We rarely go out, we’re always in bed by 9:30 pm (even on weekends!) and having a date night for us consists of Redbox, a bottle of Trader Joe’s wine, and a pizza from the freezer.

So since completing the course, Eric and I have vowed to act more like our age and go out more often! I want to be more adventurous and do more stuff, especially before we have children nagging us and pulling on our arm bringing joy into our lives.

Our Marriage Goals

  • Go on two dates every month that do not involve our couch.
  • Eat dinner at the dining table instead of in front of the tv.
  • Make more of an effort to get out of the house more.
  • Have an actual sit-down conversation at least once a month about our finances.
  • Go on at least two weekend getaways every year.

The eating-dinner-at-the-dining-table is harder on Eric than it is on me. I enjoy sitting down to eat and I feel like this is the time we get to “talk” without any distractions. I know Eric enjoys eating in front of the tv, so it’s something we do on Friday nights or weekends.

As for the two dates–we finally kicked it off in June! This month, we went wine tasting in Laguna Beach. Even though it was only for an hour, it was so nice to just get out of the house on a Saturday afternoon.

And last Saturday, we actually went out to dinner to a fondue restaurant. We have a lot of family obligations coming up, so I was happy we were able to take advantage of our free weekends.

I feel that because we’re married and we don’t have kids, it’s the perfect time to do things that we won’t be able to do once we actually do have kids. This is why I feel we should try and do weekend getaways more often.

I would really like to go wine tasting in Temecula, and apple picking in Julian this year. I have no problem using the travel fund for these trips. I hope we can make it happen!

What are your secrets for keeping your marriage fresh?

Related Posts


A blog about newlyweds managing finances in relationships. | Newlyweds on a Budget June 25, 2012 - 10:35 am

[…] part of our effort to refresh our marriage and do more fun things, especially on weekends, we decided to make our first trip of the summer to […]

Megan June 18, 2012 - 2:17 pm

We (okay, I) love wine tasting in Temecula. We should totally go together! 🙂

Vanessa June 16, 2012 - 9:08 pm

Like many other commenters, we have also fallen into a similar rut and are working our way out of it by making a decision to get out of the house and try new things. This weekend and this post actually inspired a post I’m working on; I love the idea of setting “marriage goals!” It seems to me that more romance/passion starts with doing things that make you both excited about life…and watching TV? Not so much. We’ve got some cool things planned for upcoming weeknights and date nights that will help us bond and make new memories, which is what it’s all about – in or out of the house.

SavvyFinancialLatina June 16, 2012 - 2:36 pm

My hubby and I are in a similar rut. I am going to take some of your tips, and implement them. Well, hopefully!
It’s hard to get him to do anything with me on the weekend because he has softball and basketball. Sigh..and I feel guilty asking him to skip his activities.

Shannon June 15, 2012 - 8:22 am

At least 3 nights of the week we sit at the dinner table, instead of the TV, and when we do the TV has to be off. It does help to just sit and talk. And weekend get aways are just plain fun! They don’t have to be a plane ride and a fortune but hotel sex an hour away can be good too:)

Adrienne June 14, 2012 - 5:12 pm

This is golden and oh-so-true. I feel like dates are elemental in romantic relationships. Just the simple act of getting away and conversing does wonders for a couple. Those are our goals too!

But I think you still need Trader Joe’s wine and TV nights too. For sanity’s sake. Plus Trader Joe’s wine is amazing.

CeCe @Frugalista Married June 14, 2012 - 4:56 pm

A marriage refresher is a great idea!! We go on plenty of dates mainly because of my Groupon addiction but I always have been a firm believer that you should never stop dating. Getting out of the house together is great and we also do weekend getaways.

Teacher Girl June 14, 2012 - 2:09 pm

I think it is a great idea to do these things, and even to try and keep them up once you do have little ones (although you may need to scale them back at that point). I am not married but I know from observing my own parents’ trials and tribulations that making time for each other is so important. Good luck!!

Ella June 14, 2012 - 12:47 pm

Mike and I have the opposite problem. We go out too much – restaurants, movies, concerts, bars, weekends away. We are always outside during weekends and only come home to sleep. We have the same reasoning, we want to do things now that we can’t do after we have kids. While we don’t use credit cards to finance these, it would be nice to scale back so that some of the $ can go into savings. I think I need an exercise to scale back on the date nights and have a few more pizza nights and a movie on the couch!

Debt and the Girl June 14, 2012 - 12:07 pm

I am not married but my boyfriend and I do try and do “date nights” at least every other week. We go to the movies (using discounted tickets, of course) or go out to a nice restaurant. WE even do free things like go to the park and walk around. Its all about the quality time together and not how much you spend!

jobo June 14, 2012 - 11:47 am

What a great idea! I bet the course was really good for you guys as it would be for any couple, truly! We all get into ruts, it’s easy to do, especially with crazy work schedules to boot! I wish we were closeby and we could ‘go out like adults’ together!! ooor that you guys could come up to wine country at the end of the month when we go. #justsayin 😉 XOXO

Michelle June 14, 2012 - 11:18 am

These are all great! We need to go on more weekend getaways. We are usually so tired from during the week that we do nothing on the weekend.

Emily June 14, 2012 - 11:09 am

I love your goals! They sound fun annnnd attainable. We always eat at the table (otherwise we have a nosy black lab eyeing our plates) but I definitely think we should aim to get out more before kids. I’m trying to gently get us in the habit of taking the pup on walks together other than our neighborhood. I hope it trends since it is free & will get us moving more!

Rubysongbird June 14, 2012 - 10:50 am

Well, I’m not married…but I agree with sitting down to eat. We sit down at the table together, even with take out, every night cuz that’s our time to talk about the day, and any heavier topics. Also though we haven’t had a real date in a couple months, we go out at least once a week with friends 🙂 I think all the togetherness really helps keep the relationship happy!

Kathleen @ Frugal Portland June 14, 2012 - 10:50 am

That sounds like fun. 🙂 I love Sunday adventures!

shopping2saving June 14, 2012 - 10:05 am

This sounds awesome E! Sounds like something my BF and I could benefit from. If you get to Julian before I leave in August, I’d love to join you =) Double date! We went sledding in Julian 2 years ago. It was so much fun, and I love their apple pies and cider. The cider is to die for.

Anne @ Unique Gifter June 14, 2012 - 9:18 am

Yes – I feel like I live my life trapped indoors, with the TV on, a lot!
Glad to see I’m not the only one. We’ve recently made a conscious decision to go more places/get out of town more often, which I’m hoping will help. I need to pick a weekend destination for us, to go somewhere tomorrow morning!


Leave a Comment