5 Things a Wife Should Just Let Go

by Erika Torres

empty toilet paper pinWhen Eric and I were first married, we would have a lot of little arguments over house chores and responsibilities.

And at the time, I would bring up everything, because I kept thinking “oh my gosh, am I going to have to live with dirty socks on the floor- dirty plates on the counter- <insert obnoxious habit here> for the rest of my life???”

And because I couldn’t fathom living a life where I would have to pick up the same dirty socks over and over and over again, we would have a real argument about it every single time there was a sock on the floor.

I think there are lots of secrets to a happy marriage, but perhaps one of the biggest secrets is being able to figure out when you should have the argument and when you should let it go.

In other words—is this the hill you want to die on?

After four years of marriage, I’ve realized there are just some things in life that a husband will never do. And instead of driving yourself crazy, it’s best to just let it go.

Here is my list of five things a husband will never do and the wife should just let go:

Throw Away an Empty Shampoo Bottle

It makes no sense, but a husband will never throw away an empty shampoo bottle.

I can seriously open the shower door and throw away the bottle while I’m in the shower but stillthis is too hard for my husband to do.

Sometimes he will bring in a new shampoo bottle if the old one runs out, but he still won’t throw away the old shampoo bottle.

It’s like he thinks it’s bad juju or something.

There have been times where I have silently protested and will actually bring in a new shampoo bottle into the shower with me, and then take it out when I’m done, just to see what he does when he’s in the shower without shampoo.

But he will just use other stuff like body wash, or facewash, or conditioner, or he’ll even put some water in the empty shampoo bottle and swish it around for some suds.

I give up.

Replace the Toilet Paper Roll

Not once, not ever, not a single freakin’ time in the history of our marriage has my husband ever replaced the empty toilet paper roll.

The new toilet paper roll will just sit right above the empty toilet paper roll—as if it’s too much work to manually replace the roll. It’s not like you could actually replace it while you’re…I dunno…sitting on the toilet?

Do a Chore Without Telling Me About It

someecardBefore I leave for work at 7:30 in the morning, I make the bed, walk the dog, empty the dishwasher, put dirty dishes in the dishwasher, clean up the kitchen, re-arrange the pillows on the couch and fold any blankets we may have used the night before. If I can squeeze it in, I might put in a load of laundry in the wash as well.

The night before, I will remind Eric twice to take out the trash. When he forgets to do it in the morning before he leaves for work, I will remind him again to take out the trash by sending him a photo of the loaded trash can as a visual reminder.

When he gets home from work and after three reminders, he will finally take out the trash and tell me all about it when I get home from work.

He will then tell me how he moved a sock too, and put his plate in the sink, and let the dog in the back yard so he could go to the restroom.

Lest you think I’m kidding, here is a video Eric sent me about cleaning up my sandals around the house:

Go to the Grocery Store and ONLY Buy Items on the List

I’ve been trying to give Eric more of the grocery store buying responsibilities. But I know that if I send Eric to the store, I’ll end up with about $50 worth of useless junk food groceries. Or he may come back with a new $200 tool for his workshop because he stopped at Home Depot on his way back from the grocery store.

I have to decide: is it more important to save money or is it more convenient to still let Eric grocery shop?

Buy a Gift more than 24 hours in Advance

Eric is not big on gift-buying. I’ve learned to accept this though and instead just buy my own presents.

I think the trick to finding happiness is finding a solution that works for your relationship—and realizing that there are some things you will just need to let go.

 image credit


Poor Fat Chick July 28, 2014 - 12:48 pm

THANK YOU.. this is exactly what my man does and i have learnt as well to just let these things go. Lately though when it comes to cleaning and my man will say “look at what i did today” if i don’t praise him for his efforts he gets really annoyed with me. But then i bring up what i did that morning or night before and that doesn’t matter. My man needs to be praised for his efforts in everyday things that needs to be done.. super annoying at times..

Dan @ Our Big Fat Wallet July 27, 2014 - 5:27 pm

In our house the biggest pet peeve are newspapers and magazines that get left on the dining table. I’m guilty of it from time to time but it’s usually my wife that leaves them there. I’m definitely not interested in reading the Oprah magazine and sometimes I want to throw it out 🙂

nicoleandmaggie July 27, 2014 - 12:47 pm

That toilet paper roll thing is literally grounds for divorce at our house. We both replace rolls as needed. Otherwise we would not be together.

Link love (Powered by almond croissants and money talk) | NZ Muse July 26, 2014 - 1:55 pm

[…] A few things a wife should just let go, at Newlyweds on a Budget […]

Julie @ Girl on the Move July 25, 2014 - 3:48 pm

I’m not married but I’ll definitely be remembering these things for down the road when I do get married!

Martha B July 25, 2014 - 3:17 pm

so funny! the only thing my husband can get me on is the shoe thing too!

Sally July 24, 2014 - 3:00 pm

Oh the empty shampoo bottle! So true! I have also wondered about the late gift-giving thing. Ry does this but also adds an extra element by starting to talk about what gift he wants to get me weeks in advance of Christmas/birthday, and I say “Stop talking about it and just pick something!”

Melanie@Dear Debt July 24, 2014 - 11:28 am

Hilarious!! My partner never puts another roll of TP on, nor does he do a chore without telling me and practically beg for a compliment. He also leaves empty bottles and socks everywhere! He is a good cook, though and a great partner. Glad I’m not alone though. 🙂

Daisy @ Add Vodka July 23, 2014 - 9:30 pm

Oh man.. I know there are a ton of little habits that drive J nuts about me, too, but let’s just not talk about those ;). I can’t stand how J thinks that cleaning the kitchen stops when the dishwasher is unloaded/loaded. I hate crumbs on the counter! That and how he leaves jackets EVERYWHERE. I feel like he has more jackets than I do dresses. There are always several draped over several pieces of furniture. Enough to make you mad.

The Wallet Doctor July 23, 2014 - 7:32 pm

Learning to work with your spouse is key. It requires working through some of these quirks, as you’ve so honestly pointed out, but its worth it to maintain everyone’s level of happiness.

Holly@ClubThrifty July 23, 2014 - 7:07 pm

Ahhhh, don’t get me started! Greg has thrown his pajamas on the floor next to the bed for the entire 8 years of our marriage. And he will empty the dishwasher and act as if he has done me some sort of favor.

He is an excellent father though, so I cut him so slack!

Angela July 23, 2014 - 6:57 pm

Hilarious! I was nodding yes to every single one. My number 6 is getting my husband to rinse out his breakfast bowl as his porridge/oatmeal sets like glue…

LisaVsTheLoans@gmail.com July 23, 2014 - 4:26 pm

“Is this the hill you want to die on” I love how you put that. I used to pick a fight over every little thing possible. Now I know to really reflect and ask myself whether this annoyance is really worth it. Picking my battles have greatly improved our relationship!

Amanda C July 23, 2014 - 1:11 pm

We’re not married yet, but YES YES and YES. My fiance is bad at carry the dishtowels around with him and leaving them in weird spots, or bunched up in a ball on a dirty counter. I know it’s not a big deal by any means, but when I wash my hands in the kitchen and can’t find a (clean) dishtowel, it makes me crazy!

Tonya@Budget and the Beach July 23, 2014 - 10:59 am

ha ha! Why are some of the easiest things the hardest things to do? I hate the TP thing too, but I do weird things like not put the cap back on the toothpaste, and I have a tendency to not close all the cupboard doors all the time. If you come over to my kitchen, everything is just slightly open. I think you’re right though, you do have to pick and choose your battles. Focusing on all those little things is just going to get you nowhere…as I’m sure Eric does a lot of things RIGHT!

Ann July 23, 2014 - 9:57 am

I really enjoyed this, we all have our pet peeves don’t we?! I’ve found a trick for getting my DH to do more chores without saying a word. I read about this in the Happiness Project and it works in our home! I will “half start” certain chores, my husband seems to pick up on the “clues” and will finish the job without my asking. For instance, I will move the recycling from the bin to a bag in the morning and when I get home from work, he will have emptied it. Or in the morning, I might open the dishwasher to release all the humidity while the windows are open to air out the apartment. When he comes home from lunch and sees the dishwasher open, he unloads the dishwasher. Of course I have not fessed up to these tricks, but I am sure to offer lots of praise! Here’s hoping it lasts 🙂

Lindsay @ The Newlywed Notebook July 23, 2014 - 9:50 am

bahaha! Oh husbands…gotta love them. I can honestly say my husband does every single thing you listed here. At first it was literally the most annoying thing ever (still sometimes is, not going to lie) but I’ve gotten better at either just laughing about it or moving on. Not always easy to do though. 🙂 What a fun post!

hollyrere@aol.com July 23, 2014 - 9:01 am

Ha! I had to laugh at this because I just came back from the restroom at my work griping because someone left an empty toilet paper roll in there.

Michelle July 23, 2014 - 8:14 am

LOL love this. I yell at Wes all the time about not replacing the toilet paper roll. Yesterday, he actually grabbed a new roll but I had already replaced it about 5 minutes earlier because I knew he wouldn’t. I was shocked when I saw the replacement in his hand!

Cece @Pink Sunshine July 23, 2014 - 8:12 am

It’s so funny because all men have their “things” that us women cannot stand!!!! Why must they be so obnoxious. My husband is also very big on telling me everything he did and if I don’t mention that he did something he says I didn’t notice. We don’t tend to do that to them because it’s often a miracle that they did certain things!! As for toilet paper roll. I use my own bathroom so I don’t even have to think about it. There is a cool TP roll tower I got on amazon that fits five right in the corner so that helps although the actual replacing of the roll is still a major obstacle to overcome.

newlywedsonabudget July 23, 2014 - 9:18 am

In our downstairs bathroom, I keep extra rolls in a little basket. He has literally taken TP from the extra basket but instead of putting the TP on the roll, he puts it BACK in the basket : D you just have to laugh about it..

k.e.twigg@gmail.com July 23, 2014 - 7:06 am

A simple trip for me to stock up on produce turned into a $196 Wal-Mart trip on Sunday…because my husband came with me. He doesn’t buy junk food, he buys EVERYTHING he remembers that he needs. It was awful. Did we legitimately need the stuff? Sure. Remodeling causes us to need a lot of things these days, but man. I still feel sick about it.

Mrs PoP July 23, 2014 - 7:06 am

Hahaha, totally get it. Mr PoP is the same way, though instead of leaving socks on the ground it’s hangers and towels. Drives me absolutely batty, but is so not worth having a knock down drag out over. Then again, I have my own bad habits that he hates, so all’s fair, I suppose.

Lindsey July 23, 2014 - 7:05 am

Ah I feel like the roles are reversed in my pad! My bf is kind of a neat freak (he’s not super intense about it, but he’s definitely more neat than I am). It is me who leaves the empty shampoo bottle…but I am getting better about it! And it is my partner who is constantly vacuuming, always taking out the trash, the recycling, dishes, etc. That said, he is the only man I have dated who has been like this, so I know it isn’t common. Maybe I am in the minority, but I think these are things that both spouses should let go, no matter which gender.

newlywedsonabudget July 23, 2014 - 9:17 am

good point!!! perhaps the gender doesn’t matter at all, but just let go the little things right? An empty shampoo bottle does not make or break a relationship 😉

savvyfinanciallatina@gmail.com July 23, 2014 - 6:43 am

This is hilarious! I have to give my husband credit because he does clean up more than most men. But he does not take very lofty credit for easy things. That is so true!

newlywedsonabudget July 23, 2014 - 9:17 am

I love when other people can relate! It makes me feel like obviously other couples go through the same thing

NZ Muse July 23, 2014 - 3:51 am

Holy crap I choked laughing at this! Especially telling you all about any chores he did.

I have taken to effusively thanking/praising T for chores he does – seems positive reinforcement is the best way to get more.


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