If your spouse’s shopping habits get out of control? If so, figuring out what to do can be a challenge. Even if your spouse is aware of their addiction, deciding where to go from there often takes a lot of strength. If they don’t know that they have an issue – or disagree with you about it being a problem – the situation is even harder to navigate. Luckily, you do have options. If your spouse is addicted to shopping. Here are some things you can try.
Have an Honest Conversation
If you’ve never spoken to your spouse about their shopping habits, now is the time for that discussion. When you get ready to broach the topic, make sure you are in a safe, private place – like your home – and that you both have time to engage in the discussion.
After that, avoid being accusatory or coming from a place of judgment. Instead, try to be empathetic and understanding, using “we” more than “you” or “I” whenever you bring up potential changes that could need to happen.
Also, focus on the facts. Discuss the impact making the changes will have, allowing you to make the positives the center of the conversation. In some cases, this simple talk can open the door, allowing you to work together to create a workable plan for the future.
Head to Couples Therapy
If talking with your spouse alone is ineffective, couples therapy may be your best bet. After all, when one spouse has an addiction, both members of the couple feel an impact.
Plus, there can be some very strong feelings on both sides of the equation. For the spouse that isn’t spending, they may feel worried about their financial future and concern about whether they can trust their partner. For the spouse with the addiction, they may fear judgment, worry they can’t overcome it, and more.
By heading to couples therapy, you are both in a safe space where you can share your thoughts and discuss concerns. Plus, you’ll get help from a trained professional who can assist you with navigating the situation, coming up with a plan, and working together toward a solution.
When you choose a couples therapist, it’s wise to select one that has experience with addiction therapy or compulsive behaviors. Often, they’ll be well-equipped to offer actionable advice that fits your situation, potentially making progress easier to achieve.
Get Individual Therapy
While also seeing a therapist on your own may seem unnecessary, it can be a critical part of the equation. If both spouses also see a therapist independently, they can explore certain personal issues in-depth, allowing them to grow in beneficial ways.
In most cases, you’ll need to see different therapists. This ensures there is no conflict of interest that could impact your care.
Create a Spending Plan
While you may already have a budget in place, if your spouse has a shopping addiction and is working to address their habit, an alternative spending plan may be necessary. Ideally, you want to come up with rules that you’re both comfortable with, ensuring that there are boundaries in place that secure your joint financial well-being.
Precisely what you’ll need to explore can vary. For example, whether access to funds needs to be restricted, names need removing from accounts, or cards need to be destroyed may be part of the equation. The important thing is to work together to come to a consensus, if possible. That way, any action is agreed upon, increasing the odds that you’ll both stick to the plan.
Do you have any tips that can help couples where one spouse is addicted to shopping? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
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