Big Wedding, Small Wedding, No Wedding

by Erika Torres

Eric and I were married at the Old Historic Courthouse and then had a small reception in my parents’ backyard with only close friends and family. It was a lovely wedding with lots of food and fun times–you could have never guessed it was planned in 3 weeks!

The thing is, up until about a few months ago, I still had the idea that we would have a large wedding. I had always dreamed of having a large puffy dress ( I am ADDICTED to “Say Yes to the Dress”), my dad walking me down the aisle, a first dance, and lots of pretty professional pictures. But that’s pretty much where the dreaming ended.

Because while I loved the idea of a wedding, I didn’t like all the work and money associated with it. I always said I’d rather go on an amazing honeymoon, like somewhere tropical. (Although we did go on a wonderful relaxing little getaway to a wine vineyard).

But a little while ago, I saw my friend get married, and I saw her walk down the aisle, and I saw all their pretty engagement photos and all I could think was “I’ll never have this.”

There are days that I feel that I don’t want another wedding, because it won’t really feel like our wedding since we’re already married. And then there are days where I decide I just want to get married in a church. I don’t need a reception–honestly, all I want is a big dress, my dad to walk me down the aisle and professional photos. (and cupcakes).

If I could have it my way, this would happen on our next anniversary, where we would then proceed to go on a really great honeymoon.

However, I keep shifting back and forth…what do I want? what do I want?

I want professional family photos taken of me, Eric and Bentley. I am waiting for the next Groupon or Living Social deal to pop up offering professional shots (or hey if there are any southern California photographers who feel like donating to charity, email me!). I want to at least   try on wedding dresses, and have a fitting and have people go “ooh” and “aww” and “oh, you’re so pretty” and feel like a princess.

My own wedding dress fitting occurred in a Macy’s department store with my mom while I was sweating like a pig waiting for Eric to call me to tell me that he had finally told his parents that we were going to get married…in two weeks…oh and did I mention they had only met me a week before?

I’ll give you a moment to re-read that sentence and let it sink in…

So anyway…I just want a bridal fitting, even if I don’t actually buy (or rent!) the dress.

And I want to walk down the aisle and get married in a church. That is happening, no matter what. And I would LOVE if it happened on our anniversary next year. Just family.

AND I would still love someday to take a very big fancy honeymoon to a tropical island somewhere. But I’m not complaining, because honestly, I think our honeymoon to a local vineyard was one of the best parts about getting married. Spa days, wine tasting, sex. Enough said.

That’s also where the photo in our blog header was taken. Le sigh.

Did you have a big wedding? What did you love about it or what would you change? Was your wedding your dream wedding?

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Cameon October 9, 2013 - 2:03 pm

I’m a new fan reading through all the archives as my fiancé and I are getting married on 11/3/2013. I didn’t want s huge wedding. In fact, I would have much preferred the wedding like you had and looking back, I really wish I had done what I wanted to do and not spent the money on a wedding. Weddings are SO expensive no matter how you cut it and there are always unexpected expenses as well.

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ADoseofTLC February 5, 2012 - 9:05 am

Interesting post! I love hearing about other weddings 🙂

Here’s a link to a post I wrote a while back about our wedding & budget:

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Shaba October 13, 2010 - 5:13 pm

we had a modest wedding.
100 people
outdoor ceremony

it was awesome and i loved it, but sometimes I do regret that i didn’t get to walk down an aisle and have that “everyone turns and looks” moment.

but i figure, if that’s all that went wrong on my wedding day, i did pretty good.

Single Girl September 29, 2010 - 11:03 pm

we have something small planned for tuesday, it has still been stresssssssssful.

I will let you know wednesday If I am glad we had a reception at all.

Mark Stieber September 28, 2010 - 5:43 pm

I wanted the courthouse wedding…how unwomanly of me…and my husband wanted the big wedding. I conceded to him and regretted every minute of it. I’m just not a big wedding person and I hate being the center of attention. We have a wonderful marriage and he learned that sometimes you just know what you want.

Rebecca (Craving Simplicity) September 28, 2010 - 4:28 pm

I agree with everyone else!! Your story is SO romantic!!! Those are precious memories!!!

Keenie Beanie September 27, 2010 - 7:11 pm

Marrying a Brit, we couldn’t have a big wedding with all our friends and family without half the guests having to attend a wedding far overseas. So we took the money we would have spent on a wedding and went on a two month tour of New Zealand. I had my big princess dress stuffed into its own suitcase, we found a beautiful stone chapel and a great photographer, a lovely house on a lakeside cliff to rent for a week with a fantastic wedding dinner catered in for the two of us. Now we’ve got great photos and great memories, and I wouldn’t change a thing.

Jolene September 27, 2010 - 6:19 pm

See…I think the way you and Eric married is so undeniably romantic, I love your pics – LOVE them so much, because it captured that moment, and you are so gorgeous, both of you. I wouldn’t change a thing. I would keep that moment captured just the way it is, and maybe instead, have a 7-year-itch renewal (my sister calls it that – she’s planning that with my brother in law next year) – now THAT would be fun 🙂

IntrigueMe (Quarter For Her Thoughts) September 27, 2010 - 8:45 am

I think weddings are over-rated. I spent my entire adolescence dreaming of a big ball gown and a massive white marble pavillion with white satin & flowers lining the aisle, but when it came down to planning the wedding with the ex… it turned out to be way more work than it was worth, not to mention the stupid amounts of money that it was going to cost… and that was after we’d way-simplified it (ceremony in my Grandma’s garden and the reception in a hall). Of course the broken engagement and bridesmaid experieces have probably tainted my vision a bit but I remember even then, thinking “is this one day really worth the hellish months planning and the debt I’m going to have afterwards?”.

I think if I were to do it now, it will be very similar to how you did yours and I will be perfectly satisfied with that. Our closest friends and family in a garden/yard somewhere, and we’ll hang lights in the trees and have a BBQ and just enjoy. I think anything more extravagant takes away the meaning.

IntrigueMe (Quarter For Her Thoughts) September 27, 2010 - 8:46 am

P.S. I think you have some of the most beautiful and unique wedding photos I’ve ever seen. You look blissfully happy!


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