A lesson in marriage

by Erika Torres

I had a job interview yesterday. It went horrible. No, that’s not true. I was horrible.

I realized quickly I was unsuited for the position, and I soon began to stumble upon my words, and the more I stumbled, the more nervous I got, and the more I realized I wasn’t using complete sentences. By the end, I was deflated and just wanted to crawl into bed with my pj’s and my two best buds, Ben and Jerry. What had happened to bubbly Erika? What had happened to the girl who lands jobs faster than J.Lo finds a husband? What happened to this girl?

But I had to go to work. So off I went, and I got lost for some reason. And then I realized I had forgotten my phone at home. And what is it about forgetting your phone that makes you feel like you’re cut off from the world? I hate it but it’s true.

I got into the office and called my mom. When I hung up the phone, I cried.

I feel like I’ve been looking for a job for-ev-er. I just need one break. I keep telling myself that the right job will come along. That I just need to be patient. Most days, I believe it. Yesterday? Was not one of those days.

The one person I knew I needed to call? The husband. But I didn’t call him.

I was still mad at him, hurt by him over something he had said/done the night before. So I didn’t call him. I didn’t email him to tell him I had forgotten my phone. Instead, I mentally drafted up a mock speech that I was prepared to give him next time I talked to him, and it detailed why I was mad, why I had the right to be mad, and why he was wrong.

This is typical me. Maybe I’m a typical woman?

I spent most of the day holed up in my office, wallowing in my misery, silently praying and asking for some sort of miracle. Repeating to myself: my time will come, my time will come. It was a rough, rough day.

At 3:42, my work phone rang. It was Eric aka the husband.

As soon as I heard his voice, my anger melted away. I didn’t give him the mock speech I had mentally practiced at least 10 times. Instead I told him about the interview. He said some encouraging words, as he always does.

At the sound of his voice, I realized I felt better instantly. I wanted to stay mad, but I soon realized I wanted even more for him to make me feel better. And he did.

I’m not quite sure what the lesson was, but I know I learned something.


City Girl November 11, 2010 - 7:50 pm

We all have days like that. Your break will come, and you will find the right position for you! But, it must be comforting to know that whatever tomorrow brings, you and Eric are in it together for the long haul. xoxo

Skinny Dip November 10, 2010 - 11:42 am

I’ve definitely had those kinds of interviews where I said to myself after ward “Wow, that was wack” and wanted to immediately go home & hide under a pile of blankets.

I’m sure you will find a job that is the perfect fit for you. I hope you get your break soon!! 🙂

Erin B. Inspired November 9, 2010 - 7:16 am

Sometimes I get so frustrated and I don’t even want to explain myself to J because I don’t think he’ll get it. But usually, he does. Sometimes just talking to him makes things so much better. I guess that’s love, right? 🙂

Shannon November 5, 2010 - 12:42 pm

Awh that totally sucks. I’m no stranger to those days, you know that. Sorry you are at that point though. Thank God for the awesome man!

Tiffany November 4, 2010 - 10:33 pm

I came across this post at the right time! Let me start by saying I have a great paying job, but I’m also trying to pay off debt, doctor bills, and cars….so I feel that a second job is necessary to meet my goals! I applied for a work from home job and landed an interview today! Well, like you I’ve always had the “Can Do,” or “I got this,” attitude. Let’s just say it was terrible! I wasn’t underqualified, but I bombed the interview and realized maybe I should have been better prepared! Find out some not so good news at my current job, so I’m really hoping to get this position, we will see. If not, i will just keep reminding myself that it wasn’t meant to be and I will be thankful for what I do have! Good Luck to you on the job hunt!

Nicole November 4, 2010 - 4:23 pm

Jeez, I sure hope that isn’t typical woman behavior.

One of the secrets to a marriage without fighting is to trust that your spouse never means to hurt you and to realize that nobody can read your mind, not even your spouse. With that secret there is never any reason to stay mad. You’re on the same team.

I think the lesson is that your husband loves you and you love your husband and it is silly to hold a grudge when that happens.

Shabby Princess November 4, 2010 - 1:19 pm

I’m so sorry!

IntrigueMe (Quarter For Her Thoughts) November 4, 2010 - 12:56 pm

Don’t worry about it, we all get like this sometimes. As a matter of fact, I’m feeling a little cRrAaaZzzY myself right now! (Everybody else is nuts, may as well join in on the fun.)

Ria @ Life as a Wife! November 4, 2010 - 12:36 pm

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Jennifer November 4, 2010 - 6:39 am

I can totally relate to thinking up a speech. I always do that but I never actually say my speech. My husband’s sweet voice and words instantly make everything all better!

brandt @ New House on the Blog November 4, 2010 - 6:26 am

🙂 that’s a great heartwarming story 🙂

I totally know how you feel when it comes to those interviews. When I was unemployed I had those, and you realize after about 5 minutes that it’s just not a fit for either, but you have to still put on a good face and make it through the next 30 or so minutes.

The worst was when I interviewed for an entry level position and I was given A TEST – she wrote down about 5 financial vocabulary words and wanted me to answer them. Because I had filled my brain with answers to interview questions and info about the company, I blanked it. I wanted to just hang my head and say “I’ll show myself out.”

It’s amazing what significant others do to you, eh? Because when Ashley found out, she just let me vent. And then she laughed at me, called the woman who interviewed me “Stupid,” and asked “Do you want some Taco Bell?” Instantly, I felt better.

Good luck. It’s tough out there – I looked for 16 months before finally landing something decent. We’re all pulling for you~!


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