It’s okay to be a man

by Erika Torres

If you’ve been reading for a while, you know I have a big problem with performing chores based on gender.

SO just because I’m a woman, doesn’t mean I should be expected to cook, clean, and do the laundry. And in fact, I’m pretty lucky in that Eric loves to cook and shares the bulk of the cooking with me. We also have a cleaning lady, and we each do our own laundry.

However, there are some chores that are strictly mine, and some that fall into Eric’s camp.

Unloading the dishwater is something that I prefer to do. Eric will do it sometimes, but for the most part, that’s my chore, and I actually enjoy don’t mind doing it. Whereas, taking out the trash and placing the trash cans on the curb for trash pick up day is Eric’s chore.

Last week, I woke up in the morning and found that the kitchen sink wasn’t working. Eric had the day off that day so I asked him if he could fix it before he left for a 72-hour work shift the next day.

While I was at work, I questioned if I was giving Eric this chore to perform simply because he is a male.

I mean, aren’t males supposed to know how to fix things? That’s what males do, right?

But that got me thinking that I wouldn’t like it for Eric to assume that I should be good at cleaning just because I’m a woman. (I suck at cleaning, btw).

The whole idea though of having to play around with a kitchen sink to figure out what is wrong with it just sounded like torture to me.

SO I guess the moral of this story is sometimes you don’t have to worry about gender roles, and just be happy your husband likes to fix things.





Teacher Girl May 15, 2013 - 7:34 pm

I agree! Sometimes gender roles work out just fine for everyone =).

Alexis Marlons May 15, 2013 - 7:45 am

I couldn’t handle this as well if I were to work on a sink. I guess men have that talent and patience of fixing things.

JW_Umbrella Treasury May 14, 2013 - 4:04 pm

Glad your husband was able to fix the sink without having to call in outside help. I’m sure that saved a few dollars, right?

In our household, my husband and I typically divide work based on preferences/time availability/skill set. This means that he usually takes care of most of the cooking, since he gets home before I do. Plus, he’s a great cook. I take care of most of the cleaning and tidying, because I actually enjoy it and I have a lower tolerance for clutter than he does. He also does the fix-it stuff around our apartment, since he’s much better at it. But, he always encourages me to learn how to use power tools so I can fix stuff for myself, too.

I love what CeCe said: “We can make our own rules AND roles according to who we are as people and not who we are as a gender.” AMEN TO THAT!

jobo May 14, 2013 - 11:13 am

Ha!! I LOVE that picture!! That is hilarious. good man hehe.

Tina @ My Shiny Pennies May 14, 2013 - 9:21 am

I expect that we’ll have certain chores that will be distinctly our own based not on gender roles but on personal preference. I don’t mind fixing little stuff around the house because I’m a doer, I can’t stand to see something broken and not do anything about it. B will probably take care of the bulk of the laundry because he’s picky about fresh towels and sheets, lol.

Money Beagle May 14, 2013 - 8:48 am

For the most part I’m not allowed anywhere near the stove or oven, my wife prefers to do the cooking. I do all of the yardwork stuff. Everything else is pretty open game. I do dishes after dinner at least 2-3 times per week. My wife generally cleans the house as she stays at home with the kids and has more time, but I will do that sometimes as well. It’s a pretty good and fair system, and I think it will hopefully teach our kids to think outside of gender assigned roles.

Budget and the Beach May 14, 2013 - 8:23 am

You know sometimes I’d LOVE to play the girl card more. In fact in dealing with my car, I’ve asked a couple male friends if they could play “boyfriend” when I talk to the mechanic so that they could ask more informed questions than me. Sometimes I get sick of always having to be so self-sufficient and do everything. 🙂 That pic is hilarious!

Well Heeled Blog May 14, 2013 - 8:11 am

My husband takes care of all the car-related things for us. And paperwork, actually, because I hate dealing with that. He also washes the dishes. I guess I got pretty lucky in that regard. This frees me up time to do what I love to do the most – long-term financial planning for our family and vacation-planning!

Tanner May 14, 2013 - 7:57 am

Hahaha. That’s great. I don’t know about gender-typing. But there are some things that carry along because of gender, more than just genetics… kind of like instincts. Some men do take pride and it makes them feel awesome to do things that they are stereotyped to do (there’s a reason the stereotypes exist). Anyway, outside the psychoanalyzing, glad it got fixed and he was happy.

Penny Pinching Yankee May 14, 2013 - 7:25 am

I am about to move in with my boyfriend and I will be curious to see how this plays out for both of us. I tend to shy away from outside chores mostly because I never had to growing up and I’m afraid I’ll either hurt myself {I tend to be accident prone} or scew something up!

This could be interesting!

Jessica May 14, 2013 - 5:43 am

Nice pic! in my humble abode we usually split chores but I do the bulk of the cleaning and he does the bulk of the fixing… it just happened to fall in with the stereotypes but I love to cook (he sucks at it) and he washes dishes, I clean and he takes out the trash lol funny it’s very stereotypical.

sanibel May 14, 2013 - 3:52 am

That is absolutely hilarious. I agree with you on the chores. Husband does dishes every night and I do the grilling:) Whatever works!

Mrs. Pop @ Planting Our Pennies May 13, 2013 - 5:55 pm

I don’t really let issues like that bother me a whole lot. I suck at plumbing and power tools for reasons that have nothing to do with my gender. Mr. PoP was raised doing that kind of stuff, so he’s the one that uses power tools most of the time. (I’ve gotten the hang of a drill, but am terrified I will chop off a finger with an electric saw!)

We have some traditional gender roles in what we do, but not in everything and it’s definitely not something that I worry about. =)

CeCe @Frugalista Married May 13, 2013 - 4:38 pm

I love that pic too!! He was just doing what came naturally to him when he fixed the sink. Gender stereotypes aren’t always right. They don’t apply universally to everyone. They should never be considered the rule or assumed. However, I can’t deny that a lot of them fit. I could not begin to know what to do to fix the sink. My husband is good at that and like yours would at least know where to start to figure it out. On the other hand, against so called “type” my husband cooks way better and more often then me because he likes it and I don’t. The good thing is that now we don’t have to be defined by typical roles. We can make our own rules AND roles according to who we are as people and not who we are as a gender.

SavvyFinancialLatina May 13, 2013 - 4:15 pm

That’s a really cool picture! I try not to stereotype of roles based on gender! I take out the trash sometimes, wash dishes, and fix things. I don’t mind using a hammer 🙂

Army Amy May 13, 2013 - 3:57 pm

Hahaha! Love the picture! Glad he was able to man handle the sink 😉 with no trouble.

I’m so with you on gender based chores. When Stephen and I got married, I had people offering to teach me to cook and gifting me with cook books. Yet no one gave him a cook book even though he likes to cook. It got me really ragey for a while, but I’ve mellowed out some and try to “be the change” by not gender stereotyping other couples getting married in that same way or just in general.


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