Interracial Marriage: A White and a Mexican walk into a bar…

by Erika Torres
22 comments

…and decide to get married.

In all marriages, there are differences between partners. In our case, we attribute a lot of our differences to being from different cultures. Eric is a white boy who wishes he were ethnic, and I am a Mexican, but my family calls me a “coconut.”

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The Way We Communicate

I think to some extent, Eric and I definitely fit into the “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” stereotype. My family is loud and crazy and big…Eric’s family is much smaller, quieter and probably more sane too.

In my family, we only know two levels of talking: loud and louder. When your family consists of 20 people, you learn to speak up to make sure you get heard. That often means that we’ll sound like we’re yelling at each other, but really we’re just talking about the weather.

And since we’re Mexican, all our gatherings involve alcohol, which only adds to the craziness and raises the decibel level from “jetplane” to “ear shattering.”

Germs

I fall in line with most Mexican beliefs that germs make you stronger. When I was a kid, I played in the dirt. Heck, sometimes I ate it, and you know what? I’m still alive!

What is it with all the preoccupation white people have with germs? Germs make you stronger! And plus they’re everywhere. If you were truly aware of just how germ infested your daily routine is, you would never bother going out.

Eric is so wishy washy about germs. When it comes to some things, he is very strict and gung ho, but when it comes to others, he is so laissez faire that it sickens me.

Food Expiration

In keeping with germs, another thing where Eric and I don’t see eye to eye is the expiration date of food.

Let me give you a tip, if the milk has an expiration date, the milk itself is unaware that it is supposed to expire. Nobody tells the milk, hey milk you’re set to expire today! Milk is not that smart! So how do you know if the milk is bad? Well, I don’t know of anyone that has ever drank bad milk. And how do I know that no one has ever drank bad milk? Bc it smells like sh*t when it’s gone bad, duh.

And that’s how Mexicans determine if their food is bad. We smell it. If it smells good, we taste it. If it tastes good, we eat it. And life goes on and I’ve never gotten sick and my stomach is made of steel.

Rule Follower vs Rule Breaker

Eric loves to follow the rules, while Mexicans love to figure out how to bend the rules. And sometimes, we just make up our own rules.

For example, take driving. When Eric sees a yellow light, he will screech to a halt so that he never has to go through a yellow light. I see a yellow light and cue that as my signal to speed the f*ck up so I can make the light.

***

There are obviously a variety of other factors that contribute to the above mentioned differences, but it’s fun to attribute it to our cultural differences. We make these jokes all the time, but we know it’s all in good fun.

Are you in an interracial relationship?Β 

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22 comments

Jackie September 17, 2013 - 5:44 am

I guess my blindingly white skin must not know that I’m actually Mexican, based on your comments here πŸ˜‰

I’m totally the same way…

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eemusings September 15, 2013 - 1:49 am

HA! I’m Asian and T is from white trash roots, so there’s definitely a lot of cultural differences going on.

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Kevin Watts @ GraduatingFromDebt.com September 13, 2013 - 11:14 pm

I laughed at least three minutes after reading this post. Too much funny! Interracial relationship is not dull, its full of surprises which are quite funny and you never expected those to happen in your life.

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Jessica September 12, 2013 - 11:20 am

I can totally relate to this one! We are not interracial but I am third generation hispanic (My dads Puertorican descent my Mom is Colombian) and my husband is straight from the boat Dominican lol!!!
He refuses to speak English all the time too! I am very Americanized while he is very Dominican. It’s funny because my house theres two noise levels normal and loud. His is loud, louder and who can be the loudest! I love him to bits though his old traditional charm is what got me can’t find that a lot nowadays but we still have a tough time in the sense that I am very light skinned straight dirty blonde hair light eyes and he’s dark skinned black hair black eyes.. crazy to think but we still get those “evil eye” stares from older folks…

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Army Amy September 11, 2013 - 6:51 pm

πŸ™‚ My husband is biracial, so I guess that means we are an interracial couple. He has a unique background: European-American Jewish mother and Mexican father (his grandfather was born and raised in Mexico). My husband has white skin, blue eyes, and red hair. His brothers, on the other hand, have dark eyes, dark hair, and tan skin. Stephen mostly identifies as white, so race doesn’t play much into our relationship. Religion, on the other hand, is a whole different story.

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Lisa E. @ Lisa Vs. The Loans September 11, 2013 - 9:25 am

“In my family, we only know two levels of talking: loud and louder.”

Sounds a lot like my family, haha!

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Jesort415 September 11, 2013 - 8:20 am

This article literally made me LOL! My hubby is German and I’m Puerto Rican.
His family is large but very reserved/conservative.
My family (here in NY) is small but very loud/opinionated.
My family gets together at Atlantic city, at the shore, Foxwoods.
His family gets together at their farm or church.
As you can see we grew up and are very different but some how it works great for us. Took time for his family to come around to me (6 years to be exact) being so different but we have actually seen them twice this year and it went well πŸ™‚
Now our kids….Our son looks like me, dark hair/eyes but acts like dad, Calm.
Our lil girl looks like dad, blonde hair/blue eyes but acts like me, Crazy.
I say my house is the United Nations….my oldest (from my JHS sweetheart) is Dominican and Puerto Rican…oh what a combo!!

I think it’s cool we live in an age where we can chose our partners based on love and what we want and not have to stick to “our own”. Even my brother married “outside” to an Irish girl. My mom and dad had a hard time when they were together because she is white Puerto Rican and my dad is black Puerto Rican and both sides were not happy. My dad’s family is/was very prominent in PR where Mom’s family was just middle class. Sadly they are divorced now but they have a great relationship and attend every family function no matter who’s place it’s at and they still get each other b-day/Christmas gifts.

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Tammy @ Loans and Lifestyle September 11, 2013 - 6:05 am

this article was asmusing to read because we all can relate to it πŸ™‚ my own difference crops up when it comes to cleaning stuff in the house. I only go so far as its practical for me, but my partner feels differently and doesn’t care much for how much time one spends cleaning up…It’s the little things that keep life interesting. The important thing is not to fight over it…

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ND Chic September 10, 2013 - 5:30 pm

You are so right about germs and expiration dates. Germs make one’s immune system stronger. I also think that eating some older food helps your immune system.

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Stevie September 10, 2013 - 2:18 pm

Totally with you on the food expiration and the germ thing. Food expiration dates are so ridiculously arbitrary; I don’t even know why they exist. If it smells bad, throw it away. If not, eat it. Hell, I still eat cheese if there’s mold on it – I just cut off the area where the mold is and it’s FINE.

As for germs, do people not understand why we have so many drug resistant illnesses running rampant these days? It’s because so many people are freaked out by bacteria that they’re sterilizing the shit out of everything, which eventually leads to the evolution of “Superbugs”. It’s ok to get dirty, it’s ok that your floors, countertops, etc. aren’t sanitized, it’s good for your immune system! Drives me nuts πŸ™‚

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CeCe @Frugalista Married September 10, 2013 - 1:40 pm

I’m with you on the Milk expiration or any expiration for that matter. I consider the dates guidelines to be handled on a case by case basis! I have drank bad milk though. Perhaps it was in the early stages of decomposition or my sense of smell is bad but I poured it on my cereal and let me tell you. That first bite was BAD!!

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MomofTwoPreciousGirls September 10, 2013 - 11:20 am

Lol…I’m a Puerto Rican (although my hubby thinks its funny to call me Mexican) and he’s a Italian bread all the way! I actually did not grow in my culture bc my biological dad disappeared and my mom is white…but I oddly have a ton of “typical” Latin characteristics as you have mentioned above!

On a side note…my first born is dirty blonde with the bluest eyes you’ll ever see…looks just like her dad and I look like her nanny! Meanwhile my little one is my twin…black hair and dark brown eyes. They both are stubborn little ricans though!

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Erin @ My Alternate Life September 10, 2013 - 10:36 am

I am technically in an intercultural relationship because he’s Arabic and they are considered “white” for census purposes. But it was funny reading these differences, we have a few of those too! For example: I grew up learning to just pay for my own stuff and Arabs fight over the check to pay for everyone. Thankfully, he’s Americanized over the years on that one :).

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moneystepper September 10, 2013 - 9:21 am

Haha – nice.

I’m definitely on your side when it comes to food expiration. If it looks, smells or tastes awful, I’m not supposed to eat it. If not, I’m eating it!

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Budget and the Beach September 10, 2013 - 8:50 am

Too freakin funny! I’m with Eric on the food expiration, but I think it has less to do with my whiteness then it does with a phobia of puking, therefor a phobia of eating something bad. This, by the way, does not help the grocery budget whatsoever. I agree with you on germs though. I figure germs build character…unless someone around me has the stomach flu…then I run the other direction. πŸ™‚

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mariloly September 10, 2013 - 8:33 am

this is too funny and so true – the rule breaking especially! and the expiration date. loved this.

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Lisa @ Lisa the Vegetarian September 10, 2013 - 8:05 am

I think it can be a lot of fun when two people with different backgrounds come together and compare and contrast the way they were brought up. I’ve done this many times with my friends and it always leads to hours of fascinating conversation! My bf and I both come from very similar backgrounds – we’re both Italian and come from the same very Italian small city outside of Boston. On the flip side, it’s often cool to find out that he experienced the same (often bizarre) things I did while growing up.

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Remy @MLISunderstanding September 10, 2013 - 8:00 am

I laughed at the expiration date — it’s true in my house, too! I am the picky pale person, and my wife, who’s Mexican-American, will eat leftovers from the fridge days after I’ve declared them off-limits. We joke that she’s like the cartoon dinosaur living under the Flintstones’ sink.

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Lizzi September 10, 2013 - 7:37 am

I looooove this post! My BF and I are in an interracial relationship – he’s Irish/German/Italian & I’m Filipino. His family is small while mine is quite large & LOUD. There is definitely a different dynamic when it comes to holidays and parties but it’s awesome as well. The funny part is… I look at expiration dates and he smells when things go bad. LOL!

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Michelle September 10, 2013 - 6:28 am

Love this post. W is the same when it comes to food expiration and it drives me nuts. We are in an interracial relationship (W is Irish), however, I am only half Korean (my other half is Danish), and I grew up with my Danish father, so I don’t know a lot about Korean culture.

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Tanner September 10, 2013 - 6:06 am

I can totally relate to the levels of voice when talking… but add in speed. Being a second of 5 children, and always having a lower voice, I had to be resourceful. So what did I do? I started to speak super fast to get my message across faster than my siblings. To this date, I still talk super fast for both English and Spanish. We too believe about germs making you stronger… first advice is to put kids on the floor and let them go at it. (I’m from the Caribbean)

I have to laugh at the milk part, because though I can’t drink milk or cream, I can tell when it’s bad. People who drink milk all the time? They don’t think to smell it. They think it’s strange for me to smell it. They religiously look at the dates. Makes me shake my head for sure.

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Nichole September 10, 2013 - 6:04 am

I am a white girl and my husband is Mexican. We’ve been married for almost 4 years now and I’m still trying to learn the names of all his uncles, aunts, and cousins! My family is small and spread out around the country, so I was never used to large family gatherings, but my husbands family all stayed within a 30 miles radius of each other and just a simply birthday party is attended by 50+ people! I’m not sure if I’ll ever get used to that…

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