• Might have to try this...

I have a lot to write but don’t feel like writing it so I’m writing about Jehovah’s Witnesses…

jehovahs witness 300x195 I have a lot to write but dont feel like writing it so Im writing about Jehovahs Witnesses...

Might have to try this…

I’m sure there’s a joke somewhere about how to get rid of Jehovah’s Witnesses, but so far my mind runs blank.

I actually have a lot to share. Like how I’ve been keeping a BIG secret from you, and am SO excited to share, but the thought of writing it out is so daunting that I get overwhelmed just thinking about it, so instead I write about what’s going on this week in our casita.

UPDATE: I am NOT Pregnant.

And this week, we’ve received not one, but TWO visits from our good friends–Jehovah’s Witnesses.

I will preface by saying that I think everyone is entitled to their own religion. And I think everyone is entitled to try and get people to “convert” to their religion–BUT (and see how that ‘but’ is in capitals, so it means I mean BUSINESS <– see, I did it again) I think people need to draw a line when it comes to harassing people in their homes.

At the same time, I’m not sure how one goes about converting people to your religion. I mean, should you hang out at other places of worship, waiting for the service to end, and then hound people as they’re walking to the parking lot?I picture people in black trenchcoats, handing out pamphlets, and whispering “look what our religion has to offer that yours doesn’t”….

Maybe it only makes sense in my brain.

I digress.

This whole Jehovah’s Witness thing started with Eric. More proof that all trouble begins with the husband. I’m still trying to figure out a way to blame Eric for my crashing into the house. Whatever.

Eric is one of those happy-go-lucky guys. Just wants to be nice to everyone. Mr. Popular. Mr. Prom King, actually.

And here’s another thing about Eric. He looooves the black people. He actually likes all kinds of races, especially minorities like black people and Mexicans. He couldn’t become Mexican, so he decided to marry one.

But anyway, Eric likes to think him and black people are just brothers from another mother. So when he saw a tall black guy at our door, he was Mr. Zippy-Dee-Do-Dah I’m-gonna-make-myself-a-black-friend happy!

It didn’t matter that once he opened the door, and his new black friend turned out to be a Jehovah’s Witness who wanted him to forgo birthdays for the rest of his life (that’s all I really know about them…and they don’t like to take pictures of themselves, I think, which again is proof that I could never be a Witness because hellloooo, I am so vain, this whole blog is about meeee, I’m so vainnnn, you probably think this blog is about meeeee…)

Eric kept talking, took their literature, and now we get weekly visits. Sometimes twice in one week, like this past week. I told Eric he needs to own up and tell them that we are very comfortable with our own religion, but thank you very much for stopping by, but could you please not do it anymore?

Last time they stopped by, Eric ran upstairs while whispering loudly “Tell them I’m not home!”, leaving me to fend for myself. I mean, what can you do? They’re just so damn nice! Of course, I want to invite them into my home so we can pray together!

But no. The visits need to stop. Eric needs to put his foot down.

And that is how I write a 600-word post on Jehovah’s Witness when I really just have nothing to blog about.

Have you encountered Jehovah’s Witnesses? Were you able to get them to stop visiting? Are you a Jehovah’s Winess? Did I offend the Jehovah’s Witness religion?

 

 

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31 thoughts on “I have a lot to write but don’t feel like writing it so I’m writing about Jehovah’s Witnesses…

  1. Adrianna
    December 5, 2012 at 7:51 pm

    Sorry, didnt finish point one. Usually that will do the trick and they will leave you alone.

  2. Adrianna
    December 5, 2012 at 7:50 pm

    Came across your blog when I was looking for budgeting tips. I am a Jehovah’s Witness and can give you a few tips:
    1. If you dont want them to come by anymore, then just tell them you aren’t interested in a bible study (the reason we come by if you seem interested) and would not like them to call again. Usually (not everyone within our religion does as they are supposed to. Every religion has that)
    2. The not taking pictures of ourselves thing is false. As is the comment about always wearing skirts and long hair (sounds like pentecostal) We do drink alcohol (within reason), we do dance, but no smoking or drugs.
    3. Unfortunately not every Jehovah’s Witness does things the way we are taught to be. We seem restrictive like no birthdays or holidays but other than that we are pretty normal people.
    4. Most of us laugh at a good Jehovah’s Witness joke. I know it can be annoying for us to come by and most people hide and we are aware of that.
    Any more questions, you can email me :)

  3. December 3, 2012 at 6:33 pm

    I’m usually willing to hear them out. And then when I’m heard them out, I expect them to return the favor when I politely decline.

    I’m kinda hoping that the big news is that you adopted a llama or similar animal. But if that’s not it, I’ll try not to be too disappointed.

  4. Ness
    December 3, 2012 at 1:36 am

    Hahaha this is hilarious. Too true.

    Anyway, so I am at the beginning of my lifetime of budgeting. My question is–how do you start? My fiancé is steadily going into debt (theoretically, I guess I mean savings). I make a decent income and we are caught up with bills. However, where I’m confused is where to actually, physically start. We wrote a Gail Vaz-Oxlade budget. Where I am confused is–does this mean we save up enough for one month’s worth of living expenses and bills before we start the month? How did you start?
    Thank you!

  5. December 1, 2012 at 5:55 pm

    I know I’ve said before about how much your life reminds me of mine, and again today, another parallel: I’m also married to a former happy-go-lucky prom king. I feel cool merely by association.

    My friend’s husband LOVES when the JW’s come acalling… he actually prepares material ahead of time so he can debate them on the merits of his religion versus theirs. It won’t surprise you to know he’s a lawyer…

  6. Monique
    December 1, 2012 at 4:23 am

    Years ago I lived in a predominately Portuguese neighborhood. The JW hall was right behind my house, I could see when they were headed out “visiting” the funny part? I was the only non-Portuguese person in my apartment building so when I answered the door, they would ask if I spoke Portuguese to which I replied in Portuguese that I did not speak it so they left me alone. I always got a kick out of them not catching on that I answered in Portuguese.

  7. November 30, 2012 at 10:38 am

    That is too funny. We have always told them we were Catholic, which we are, and for some reason they would just leave us alone. Can’t wait to hear the big news….are you moving in to be my neighbor perhaps?

  8. Jesort415
    November 30, 2012 at 7:36 am

    I had a very close JW friend in JHS. She wore long sleevs and long skirts everyday. Her hair was past her behind and actually gave her headaches cause it was so heavy (she was like 5 feet tall and very petite). We lost contact after we graduated and I didn’t hear from her again until last year on FB and let me tell you…every pic of her on FB she is half naked and in some wild pose with alcohol,cigs, weed in it. She has 3 kids by 3 different men and her hair is super short and different colors. Not sure if her family is still JW but if so she must be the beyond black sheep of the family. Then again when you are restricted that much when given an inch of freedom you may take a mile.

  9. November 29, 2012 at 7:09 am

    Like you, I agree everyone is totally entitled to their own religion and if they feel the need to send people on missions to convert, power to them, the issue I have with Jo-Ho’s is that they are NEVER identified, start a conversation with you about NOTHING religion related (How do you feel about killing whales in mass slaughter?!) and leave you with information about world issues that have nothing to do with them. I was appraoched this was when I was about 12yrs old in my front yard, 2 older women and 2 young girls just started talking to me about killer whales, gave me a bunch of paper and left. They came back like a week later wanting to talk to me again..Mom was pissed since I had no idea who they were and she did….I think their whole approach is completely inappropriate. The LDS church (Latter Day Saints, aka Mormons) have missionaries all over the world but I have NO issue when they come to the door. They are always very polite, WELL IDENTIFIED with name tags and properly introduce themselves. I let them say their speech, tell them we’re happy in our current religion and have a great day. This Jo Ho business is a big annoyance for me too. Rant Over. I should note that one of my good friends is Jehovah’s Witness (we argue often) and I know A LOT of LDS members, including family members.

  10. November 29, 2012 at 5:43 am

    Hahaha, that happened to me once since we’ve moved to our new house (it’s across the road from a mega church) and without thinking I told them thanks but we don’t believe in God. I forgot that I’m a severe minority in my rural area! That really stumped them and they haven’t been back.

  11. November 28, 2012 at 5:19 pm

    lol! That post was hilarious! I usually can see them coming from my office window in my apartment so I draw the blinds and hide out until they pass my apartment. I feel so silly doing this as all I have to do is open the door and say i’m not interested. Oh the lengths we go to…

  12. November 28, 2012 at 4:10 pm

    I have a bunch of students who are JW’s and their religion always confuses me, especially the rationale behind certain things. I mean, granted, I have teenagers explaining it to me, but they can’t all be explaining it wrong. Seems way too restrictive and like it takes away some of the best parts of life that God gave us.

  13. November 28, 2012 at 3:36 pm

    I think I’ve only encountered one JW at my door before, and they always seem nice but I can’t help but think going to people’s doors to convert them is super creepy!

  14. November 28, 2012 at 1:45 pm

    Hahaha that is hysterical. My ex-BFF was a JW and it was just AWKWARD at times, I mean, their beliefs are SO different than so many other religions. But I digress. Happy to see you back. Do I even know what the big secret is?! ;-)

  15. November 28, 2012 at 1:33 pm

    My dad did the same nice-guy thing once and those guys came back ALL THE TIME. I don’t answer the door if I don’t know who it is or why they’re at my door. :P

  16. November 28, 2012 at 9:08 am

    You’d better us tell us your news before we start planning a baby shower….

    • November 28, 2012 at 9:34 am

      I am NOT Pregnant. Although the seven pounds I gained over Thanksgiving may lead you to believe otherwise…

  17. November 28, 2012 at 8:26 am

    Freakin’ hilarious. But definitely a problem. Don’t answer the door. That’s one solution. I got stuck watching two art students pull out paintings for sale one by one just last week because I couldn’t just NOT open the door. Why do so often feel that we must? Even if they know we’re home….who cares? It’s our house and if we don’t want to open the door we don’t have to. Anyways. Hope he can muster up the guts to tell his new black friend thanks but no thank you.

  18. Lea
    November 28, 2012 at 8:08 am

    I actually scrolled down the whole post to see if you reveal your big news later on!

  19. November 28, 2012 at 8:05 am

    Hahahahahahaha

    I’m sorry, but hahahahaha, that sucks! I just never answer the door–never. Unless I’m expecting you, you will not see my face. I have had too many run-ins with the Jehovah’s Witnesses, Mormons, Fios salesmen, etc., to ever willingly walk into another one. So I guess I’m like your husband in that regard, instead of politely telling someone I’m not interested, I’ll hide. Perhaps you could get him to write them a note?

    p.s. Are you pregnant? Everyone now thinks so…

  20. November 28, 2012 at 7:00 am

    Dang…crazy how everybody goes to pregnancy!

    Hmm…I don’t answer the doors. Seriously, I am extremely paranoid. Now nobody knocks on our doors because we live in a gated community. Awesome!!!

  21. November 28, 2012 at 4:45 am

    Erica….I couldn’t even read this…you CANNOT start off with “I have big news” and then drop it.

    You are knocked up, aren’t ya???

  22. November 28, 2012 at 2:53 am

    Best reason ever to live on a military base in the middle of Turkey where it’s illegal to proselytize. The only people who knock on your doors are the gardeners, nannies, and maids that flock to newcomers’ houses like flies to honey. But once you hire someone or it gets out that you won’t be hiring anyone, they leave you be.

    Germany was also good for this – all exterior doors to houses locked automatically when closed and most door to actual apartments were internal, so it was rare to have to deal with door to door people of any kind.

  23. November 27, 2012 at 6:54 pm

    People always come to our door when it’s me around. I get everyone. People doing ‘contests’ or some such, selling magazine subscriptions, religious people, politician people, financial investor type people, and even local fixer-upper people. I swear they only ever come when I’m home alone or when my husband is busy doing something.

    Once I realize it’s not someone holding a giant check for a million dollars I start closing the door while saying “I’m not interested, no thanks, goodbye!” I don’t take their flyers, pamplets, business cards, or anything. Sure, it’s probably rude but I hate when people go interrupting my time at home. No thanks!

    Unless it’s a kid selling cookies or something. I can never pass up a kid selling food. In that case, I’m like “okay, where is my purse? I want some shortbread cookies!”

    (love the door knocker, lol)

  24. November 27, 2012 at 6:43 pm

    OH my goodness, I love it! I mean, I’m so terribly sorry, but it makes for a totally hilarious story! It’s good that he likes to make friends? My hubby is totally anti-confrontational… So maybe I feel a bit of your pain?

  25. Sonya
    November 27, 2012 at 6:23 pm

    We had one that practically tried to force their way in our house. They kept coming by when I was home alone and I refused to answer the door. I was thisclose to calling the cops on them when they stopped coming. Someone one time said their grandpa used to say you can tell me about your religion but then I get to tell you about mine and that usually scared them off.

  26. November 27, 2012 at 5:58 pm

    Haha, I always just tell them I am on my way to church (even if it’s not true) and they’re usually pretty satisfied with that.

    BTW – that picture is ridiculously gross. =)

  27. November 27, 2012 at 5:43 pm

    What’s your big news!? That’s all I could think about when reading this whole post haha

  28. November 27, 2012 at 4:56 pm

    Now I am curious as to what your big news is. Are you pregnant perhaps?

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